living in the closet

Only if you want to be unhappy & not be yourself

 

doesn't sound like fun to me.

You can't lie to yourself. Because right now, you are putting your life in the hands of other people. Is that what you want to look back on knowing that you didn't live fully? I still don't know what I am but I know something needs to change. I've spent too much time and effort lying to myself and trying to be someone I'm not.

Right now.. just try to get used to the idea of being gay. That's where I am. You need to know yourself before you tell other people.

 

Life's too short to do anything but be you, and you don't owe it to anybody to live by their expectations. The closet may be safe and comfy, but nothing worthwhile is accomplished from the comfort zone either.

 

Is it worth it to breathe?

Is it worth it to cast off worry?

Is it worth it to laugh?

Is it worth it to love?

Is it worth it to be loved for who you are?

It 's worth it!

 

I used to think that I would never come out as well. I then realized that I would never be able to truly be myself. I realized that I would never be able to talk to my friends about my relationships or my attractions. I would just have to continue to put up a fake persona throughout the rest of my life.

So, if you don't want to be like this, then at some point you will have to come out.

 

I think it entirely depends on the circumstances. Each person is unique. Each person has different life circumstances.

Our society is progressing. But we still have situations where being publicly gay is too expensive. Although in a situation like that, one could be selectively out of the closet--public at large knows nothing, but the people one is close to know the truth.

The important thing, I think, is to be honest with yourself.

 

If safety is an issue, then yes. Children depending on parents for survival, people living in truly hostile places, that's when it makes sense to stay in closet. Whole life is a long time, though. Honesty is the best policy unless you can be thrown in jail, killed, or end up homeless.

 

It's certainly possible, but I don't think it advisable under any but very specific circumstances (e.g., not doing so would endanger your life). And in such cases you should try to change your circumstances if at all possible as soon as possible.

Otherwise, the primary reason that seems to be presented for remaining closeted is that not doing so will make some number of people around you uncomfortable. Sacrificing an entire lifetime of being true to yourself (and likely some number of opportunities for love and happiness) of the sake of the emotional complacency of some number of people seems rather an unfair trade, frankly.

At the end of the day, sexual orientation is essentially a matter of taste IMHO. Would you give up ever eating your favorite food again or mentioning that you like it simply because some number of other people don't like it? Or would you tell them to get over themselves?

My 2c worth,

Todd

 

Obviously it is down to the person as to whether they want to come out or not. But it wouldn't be worth it in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with being in a closet, for any length of time, but doing so can create so many restrictions in life, it's like you're hiding your true self from everyone, I've been in the closet and it's horrible

 

Well, I discovered that I'm gay a few years ago and I promised to myself that I would never come out of the closet. NOT a SINGLE person. I didn't mind at first because I was thinking, "You know what, this is good because i can focus all my energy on other things like study and my future career. Who needs a boyfriend anyway?" And I genuinely believed so, I believed that I can just stay in the closet forever. And I always searched things like "how to look manly" or "how to hide that you are gay" on the internet and the only responses I saw were something like "It's not worth it, hiding in the closet" or "you should come out etc.." which used to make me so angry because those are not the answers that I was looking for.

Then slowly things get harder. I thought that I have always been good at hiding and keeping secrets etc.. but this was so different. It got worse overtime and one day, without planning, I just told my dad. He has been VERY accepting and I felt a lot better that he knows but something was still missing. I wasn't still that happy. Two years later (On the 25th of December 2012) I decided to tell my brother while I was driving him home. He has been very accepting and kind as well. After coming out to both of them, I have been a very happy person. More happy than those years I stayed in the closet. Still, my friends think that I'm straight because i have no plan to tell them anytime soon but they don't matter because my dad and my brother are the important ones in my life. What I'm trying to say is you should come out. You don't even have to come out to everybody if you don't want to but at least the important ones in your life should know. The only reason not to come out is if it will endanger your life (ex. living in a very homophobic area or in places where being gay is illegal or will get you executed, like Saudi Arabia). Good luck with everything!

 

IMHO the short answer to this is a fundamental NO! That being said, safety being a major consideration I would advise doing whatever you need to do to rearrange your life structure to put yourself in a safe situation before you come out. Additionally, you do not have to come out to everybody, and there are definitely situations in which it is advisable to not come out.

As I came from a homophobic/gay-hostile background, I have yet to come out my family, even though I am out with most of my friends and co-workers. When/how/will I come out to my family, IDK. They are human and have their good sides and their bad sides, one of their bad sides being homophobic. As such, I ideally would want coming out to be a non-contentious event (ie if they're not supportive I can deal with an agree-to-disagree scenario), but ultimately I realize that it is NOT my responsibility to address their homophobia. At the same time, I have chosen to not allow their homophobia to stop me from living my life or pursuing my dreams.

 

I have never lived in a closet as soon as it was safe to not I took the door off the hinges and ran screaming I am a lesbian into the world. I never looked back and know how good it is being me and accepting of me no matter what anyone else thinks.
What anyone else thinks does not matter. If they don't like it I can walk away if they do than they are friends or family. There is no shadow for me to sneak around in. Hugs and love angel

 

Two years ago I was thinking that I would never come out. Granted, I am still not out, but I want to be.

I think part of the change of my mindset was moving to a more liberal area and surrounding myself with good people. I would say your environment has a huge impact on how you feel about being in the closet.

I think thecat06 hit the nail on the nail on the head. I cannot be myself and refrain from talking and doing some things I want to do. This can't go on forever.