Hinting-Helping or hurting?

I have mostly found hinting to be completely useless, unless by hinting you mean things like openly talking about women you are attracted to.

Actually, sometimes even that is pretty much useless.

What kind of thing were you thinking of, in terms of hints? And why do you want to hint, rather than come out?

 

Being a feminine lesbian is totally cool, although I am told they feel very invisible sometimes...

 

I personally didn't do it. I used the "bisexual bridge", but testing the waters can give a good indication as to whether others would be accepting of you

 

Are you under the impression that masculine women are as they are in an attempt to "kick up a fuss?" I really don't agree with that. Butches are butch because it's just how they are.

Gender expression has nothing to do with whether someone is willing to make a fuss. Unless you are feminine only because you are trying not to. In which case it isn't natural to you, and is probably doing you psychological harm.

In fact, there are a lot of femmes who are absolutely willing to raise hell.

You put the word "feminist" in your username--that doesn't seem in accord to me with the notion that a woman shouldn't "kick up a fuss." Why shouldn't women, or lesbians, make as much of a fuss as necessary?

Do you feel on some level that it is inappropriate for women to do things that draw attention to themselves?

Again, what kinds of things were you hoping for, in terms of hints? Do you have an example?

Femme invisibility is a problem, but it's not because femmes are demure, modest creatures who conform to social norms, while butches are radical and in your face. Plenty of femmes are radical and in your face, and plenty of butches are shy and dislike drawing attention to themselves.

 

If you're dropping hints, it's because you want someone to guess/know. If you want them to guess/know, nothing beats actually telling them. Maybe responding "Maybe she has a brother" to "Isn't she hot?" counts as hinting in your book, but I just call it being conversational with my coming out.

Lex