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One of those days

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pwnorton, Mar 22, 2008.

  1. pwnorton

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    Do you ever have one of those days where you just say to yourself "I don't know..." :icon_sad: Well, this has been one of those days, except for every day of this week. Exactly 2 weeks ago today I told my best friend (girl) that I am bi. And just a couple days ago, I told my crush (guy) that I am bi, but he doesn't know that I like him. The thing is, I never really talk to him, except asking him what our homework is, or what time something is. So he must find it weird that I told him I'm bi. He hasn't talked to me since (even though it was only 2 days ago). But we've seen each other around school a lot, and he's only acknowledged my presence once. So I don't know if he is still trying to wrap his head around it, or he's ignoring me.

    But recently, I have been really confused. Am I bi? Am I gay? Well, I know I'm not straight. I mean, I have a very strong emotional and sexual attraction to guys, but I don't know about girls. I know I find some girls very attractive, but does that make me bi and not gay? So I recently "converted" to being gay :icon_bigg, but with some bisexual tendencies. I decided I was going to tell this to the guy that I told. I did last night in an email, but haven't received a response yet (not expecting to at least until later today, since he was at a party last night). I told him that I really need to talk to him. When I do talk to him, I'm gonna tell him that I like him, and have for the past 2 years. I'll also tell him that he was the reason I realized that I was gay, or at least bi. I don't know how he'll react to this. I have my suspicions that he is gay, but just hasn't come to terms with it. But he may be totally straight. Either way, I will probably completely freak him out telling him that I like him.

    Thanks for reading this. I just felt that I needed to say it. And why not to people I know are going to be supportive?
     
  2. darkestknight

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    Hi there,

    I have the same problem as yours too, but I have sexual+emotional+romantic attraction towards men, and emotional+romantic attraction towards the women. I'm like standing on the middle ground, and I'm not confused.

    As for this, just take it easy, and mix around with more guys and girls.

    And as for your friend's issue - if you are in serious doubt, better not tell him yet. Have you asked him about what he likes and dislikes before? :slight_smile:

    :slight_smile:
     
  3. sexyalex

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    or what's his favourite flavour jam?

    i think u should get to know him first. and without a doubt i think ur bisexual because what determins someone's orientation is what sex they are sexually attracted to.
     
  4. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    pwnorton, yup, high five for us "not sure if gay or bi" folk! Put it there!

    Good luck with your friend :grin: Remember your own self worth whatever happens.
     
  5. pwnorton

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    Ok...I told the guy I like that I'm bi, but then actually realized that I am gay, but with bi tendencies, so I told him that. he is totally cool with it all, and says that it's good that I'm comfortable talking about it. So I just sent him a message on Facebook telling him that I like him, but not directly. I was listening to Prince today, and one song caught my attention. It is called "I Feel for You." I pasted some of the lyrics into the message so he got the idea without me actually telling him directly. here are the lyrics:

    Baby, baby, when I look at you
    I get a warm feeling inside
    Theres something about the things you do
    That keeps me satisfied
    I wouldnt lie to you, baby
    Its mainly a physical thing
    This feeling that I got for you, baby
    It makes me wanna sing
    I feel for you--i think I love you
    I feel for you--i think I love you



    I sent that to him, except I took out the word "baby" cuz that would be really weird for me to say. I hope it goes well. I mean as well as it can go with a gay guy telling a straight guy that he likes him. :slight_smile:
     
  6. pwnorton

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    Well, I got a response. I'll post it here:

    sorry i did not answer earlier, i was out. thank you for finally saying what you wanted, but i dont know how to respond. i am not gay, so you shouldnt expect anything, but i will not tell anyone your big secret. lets stop the conversation on facebook, because over break i wont be on it that much and wont be able to answer, but when school starts again do not feel awkward, and i most definitely will not be awkward either. im glad that you were honest cuz that is important and i hope you have a good break.

    I've read this about 50 times. Obviously, it is not the response that I was hoping for, especially since I thought there was a slight possibility that he is gay. :frowning2: But I think that is the best response that he could have given. We will still be friends (apparently) and I shouldn't feel weird around him, so what else could I ask for (except for him to say he's gay and he likes me)?

    So, that's it.
     
  7. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    Sorry that he's not gay :frowning2: But at least he's supportive, and says he will not out you.

    And again - the whole bi or gay? question is one that haunts many of us on here. It sounds like you've come to some sort of understanding, which is good, but I think the best advice I got was to just not think about it too much. Although, as you've probably realised coming out, it feels like it would be easier coming out as either one or the other, doesn't it??

    Oh yes - and hi!! :slight_smile:
     
  8. pwnorton

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    I'm not entirely convinced about this. I mean, he not being gay. I have always been suspicious about him, for reasons I don't really know how to explain, but I have my reasons. I don't know what to do really, though. Should I just wait and see? I don't really think I should ask him....well, I know I shouldn't ask him. But my head and heart are still stuck on him. I should probably just try to ignore those feelings, but something keeps telling me that this doesn't have to be over just yet.

    Whatever, no one really needs to respond to this if they don't want to. I just needed to say it out loud (so to speak).