Ok, so my gender dysphoria has gotten out of hand. I can't pass in front of my bedroom mirror in the morning without jumping a little from shock that there's a guy standing there and then I get depressed... I've even started to outwardly act like a girl without thinking and having comments made on it... I have to start making the transition and I need to come out to my family soon (within the next couple of months) so that I can start. I've got the resolve I just don't know the best way to go about it though I've thought of several ways. Just a little background about my family: I live primarily with my mom and step-dad, who are both fairly open-minded. They thought that my step-sister was a lesbian (she wasn't) and told her that they were ok with it. Mind you, she was the angel child to them (she's a terrible person) and I'm not as highly thought of, (I'm graduating with honors, in the top 10% of my class, and have a 4.02 GPA, and I'm never mean to anyone...) so I'm really not sure how they'd respond to my being trans*... Especially since I have no idea what they're opinion of trans* people are. My mom says she'll be there and accept me no matter what, but she's so stressed out all the time anymore... I'm afraid if I tell her it'll kill her on the inside because I'm her only son and it's been just us until six years ago... I love my mom too much to do that to her... The rest of my family are the ones that I'm really worried about. I'm really close to my cousin and have been since we were infants... The problem is he really REALLY hates gay people (his girlfriend that he really cared about left him in pursuit of a gay guy so please don't judge him too harshly, he really loved her), and I don't want to lose my oldest friend... yet, for some unknown reason, I feel completely compelled to come out to him about all this... My biological dad isn't as bad, but he doesn't like gay people at all... He's intimidating enough as it is because he's HUGE and could probably crush me under his boot, and I really love my dad and I'm afraid to lose him... The rest of my family should be ok with it though... (except my grandparents, but I don't see them THAT much) The only other person is my girlfriend, but we're already on the verge of breaking up which sucks because I love her so much... But if she somehow got hold of the information that I'm trans* she'd out me to EVERYONE. My family, friends, teachers, it doesn't matter she'd use it as a weapon... That's why it's crucial that I do this right so that I get to keep as many people as I can, cause the least amount of pain, and keep myself safe in the process... Given this information can anyone tell me what the best course of action might be? I'm open to anything that may help... How long should I wait? When's the best time? Should I come out to people one at a time? All those kinds of things would help... I'm sorry to post this, but I've searched through the general forums and it just makes my head spin a little... Thank you all for your help....:icon_sad:
I really don't know how to handle telling your family, so I'll just comment on the girlfriend. As much as you love her, if you know she's just going to out you and use your identity to hurt you, you should let her go and not put yourself through that. It's not how you should be treated by someone you're in a relationship with anyway. I wish I could be more help... it would probably be best to start with the people you know will support you one by one.
