I have been out with a close group of friends and my parents for a little over a year now. After I came out to my parents, my dad told me I should not tell anyone else that I am gay. He told me he thought it would damage my brother's relationship with his best friend. Since my brother's best friend is homophobic, I understood why he would say this. Recently, I have been asked many questions from people in my school about what girls I like, or I have had people comment on pretty girls. They obviously expect me to agree, but I can't just lie to myself and others after I came out. I don't feel like it is fair because my dad seems to be protecting my brother at the expense of my happiness. What I want to know is if anyone can give me any advice as to how to tell my parents I do not want to stay closeted, or am I just being selfish? Please respond quickly!
Well... I understand the not wanting to lie part. I say just be honest with them, I mean they are your parents. And your right, it isn't fair to you, you should be able to be yourself. Just talk it over with them, they should feel how important it is to you.
You aren't being selfish. And I think you should tell your dad exactly what you're telling us. That you get why he wants you to stay in the closet, that you don't want to jeopardize your brother's friendship, but that your dad is prioritizing a friendship that your brother has over you living your life openly and that is painful and NOT okay for him to do to you.
You can't be your brother's keeper, and it's not fair of your dad to ask that of you. Living authentically is one of the most important things in your life, and it isn't worth hiding yourself unless there's a really profound reason (personal safety, for example) which isn't the case for you. I think if you explain this to your dad, hopefully he'll be reasonable and understand.
