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My friend...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Half-Light, Nov 26, 2006.

  1. Half-Light

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    Ok so I have this friend at school..and he is majorly hot!!! He has Blonde hair and brown eyes...he's my age but we are like totally different in every aspect...he's very athletic and charming...but he acts very gay and straight at the same time...one moment he will be literally grabbing and groping a guy and in the next moment be gushing over a girl...I have liked him since third grade and I have been friends with him since 4th grade on and off again (different class schedules). I am right next to his locker every year and we joke around and stuff and we have both seen eachother naked before and all that stuff...but I am afraid because he pulls away from me sometimes...he just totally confuses me and every time I see him i want him even more...
    I am moving into a new house but staying in the same school district next month before Christmas...I was going to intvite my other friend and him over for a party and stuff because I have the whole upstairs to myself and I have the basemaent and I have a spair room all to myself (its just my mom and I)...I am hoping that more stuff may happen...lol...but eventually I want to tell him how i feel...but I am totally afraid to do so....i am not sure if he is gay wanting to come out...if he is bisexual...or if he is straight and just acting to show off....I don't know what to do....so i am guessing some advice is in order...I usually don't take advice..but I am willing to do anything I can to figure him out....
     
  2. suburbs_of_sodom

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    My advice if you want to tell him how you feel is to first come out to him, if you haven't done so already. Coming out to him is helpful in two ways: first, it gives him the opportunity to come out as well if he is in fact gay/bi, and second, his reaction to that gives you a means to gage what his reaction will be to you telling him how you feel about him, in case he doesn't reciprocate those feelings. If his reaction is good (either he reacts relatively positively or he comes out to you), wait a little while for him to get used to the idea of you being bi, then tell him how you feel.

    Also, be prepared for the fact that he may not be gay/bi and/or return your feelings. If you work under the assumption that he is, you might be less cautious and you will be setting yourself up for extreme dissapointment if he doesn't feel the same way as you. It sounds like you guys have been friends for while and it would be awful if that friendship were ruined over this.

    Good luck, and I hope this works out!

    -Chris
     
  3. tired_of_lying411

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    totally jealous.. :lol: I would LOVE to have this problem... hahaha

    but yeah, Chris makes sense.. sounds like the best plan.

    :icon_wink Good luck
     
  4. Half-Light

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    yeah i should come out to him...but we have been like on-and-off friends...like he pushes away from being friends with me...one moment he will act like my best friend and then the next he will totally ignore me and act all shy and stuff...i don't get it..lol...it frustrates me...
     
  5. Half-Light

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    o..and how does the whole inviting him over to my new house thing sound?...does it make me sound all desperate?...lol
     
  6. suburbs_of_sodom

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    I wouldn't say that seems too desperate, I mean, especially if you're planning on coming out to him there, he'll probably realize that you just wanted somewhere private to talk. To me it seems actually like the ideal way to do it, because not only is it private, but there's plenty of time for you to talk, and he has plenty opportunity to leave if things get too awkward or weird.
     
  7. Half-Light

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    I don't know why you are jealous...lol...I find this totally frustrating!...lol. Although I don't take for granted the experiences I have had with him...He can be a really good friend and he just makes me melt....omg...my cousin whom i havnt come out to yet told me the other day that she has had a crush on him for awhile...but now she is going out with another guy...so now i don't have to worry about for awhlie...if she knew I was gay I would have been like, "bitch don't you dare take him away from me!"...lol...I do plan on telling her that I am gay soon though...but I am kinda afraid to because she can be a bitch and never lets you forget anything you tell her...she would hold that against me and probably end up telling the whole world...
    but anyways...yeah...I really hope this works and I will try to take the advice and make it work...lol
     
  8. Rain33

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    Im sorry but your story to me sounds like hes just another straight guy who is ok with his exuality. I think you might be making too much out of it. Are you feminine? by the way you type you sound like you might be. maybe thats why he ignores you sometimes? maybe
     
  9. Half-Light

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    i'm not too feminine...I don't like worry about my hair or my looks every secong of the day and I don't gush about stuff and go around saying like "omg... this person did so and so"...and i think its pretty harsh to judge someone by the way the type. I am writer so naturally I write the way I do. My voice isn't feminine or anything...and i don't where really fancy schmancy clothes either...
     
  10. Rain33

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    Ok... i didnt mean anything by it. Just giving my 2 cents.
     
  11. cyclopsrock

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    I would agree that he sounds like a comfortable straight guy, but then again, I have seen kids just like that totally surprise me by being gay. so who knows?
    I hope for your sake that he's gay. he sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

    good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  12. Half-Light

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    srry if i gave off bad vibes in that last post, rain33...no hard feelings...but yeah, this guy is awesome and even if he isn't gay/bi I will still like him as a friend and nothing will change that...atleast i hope nothing will change that...
     
  13. Half-Light

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    well...I had off school today for because it was like the first day of some hunting thingy...so tomarrow I can't wait to get back to school so I can see him...lol...I sit with him in home room and I can't wait to ask him how his thanksgiving vacation went...so...we'll see...
     
  14. tired_of_lying411

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    maybe he's gay and nervous and thats the reason for his hot/cold attitude?? That's probably 100% wishful thinking on my part for you, but oh well.. it COULD happen

    good luck!
     
  15. nisomer

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    I'm gonna hafta agree with whoever said that he seems like he is just completely comfortable with his sexuality. Regarding him ignoring you and acting different at times--I think that we sometimes think too much into things. He may not be even trying to do that intentionally or he might have been distracted by something else. Many people (gays especially I think) have a tendency to think that it is something they themselves did, instead of something that may have been affecting the other person somehow else.

    And if you are going to tell him how you feel about him, I suggest doing it sometime after you have come out to him because coming out and telling him how you feel may overwhelm him.
     
  16. Half-Light

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    well...lol...I went back to school today and I don't think I will have to worry anymore...I was In homeroom during our activity period in the morning (where we got to iur school clubs and stuff, but i don't go to any) and a kid who sits next to me told me I don't have any friends...so I started listing off people's names who are my friends and I said the my friends name and he said that he wasn't my friend...just that he pittied me and that is why he hangs out with me...lol...so I guess I was wrong...He told me throughout the day when I mentioned it that he was just joking but then when we were at are lockers I told him I didn't care what he thought about me and asked him what makes me subject to being pittied...then he said he pittied me because I was a geek and that I was a geek because I have good handwriting and stuff...lol...I am kinda upset...but this isn't going to bother me...I won't let it...
     
  17. nisomer

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    lol? because you have good handwriting? that definalety makes you a geek!

    forget him hes a jerk.
     
  18. Rain33

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    wait the guy you like said that?

    what ana sshole god i hate highschool kids

    i fucking hate highschool
     
  19. Half-Light

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    I hate everything about school...he told me and e-mailed me saying he was srry and kept on asking if I was mad at him...then he goes around bragging to people that about what he said to me...when i got home to read the e-mail, it said that he was just jokingand that he still liked me and all...lol...I don't know what to believe but I'm still not going to make a fuss about it...it's not worth it...I have more to worry about then some guy saying he's my frind one second and then saying that I am only his friedn cuz he pities me...lol..I have better friends than that...I don't need him...
     
  20. Half-Light

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    I have devised a revenge...lol...ok its not too much of a revenge...its just to tell if he is really likes me as a friend or not...well here it goes:

    I am moving in a couple of weeks to a new house (but it is not out of the school district, so I'll still be going to the same school)...but I havn't told anyone actual details about the move...so I plan on telling him that I have a choice...a) either move in to my new house with my mom or b) move to Carlisle to my grandma's house (which means I move out of the district)...and if were to choose my grandmother's, the last time he would be able to see me is before Christmas break...lol...so in the end I will still be living in the same school district, but I will be able to see his reaction when I tell him i might be moving away for good...lol...my cousin said I was totally evil when I told her about it...I only get more evil every day...lol...j/k...