Sooo..... yeah. First off, a little background information. I don't live with my parents, I'm in foster care. I have absolutely no contact with my dad, I occasionally talk to my mom, and I have visits with my grandparents and aunt. My mom is fine with guys being gay, but not girls. My grandparents and aunt are total homophobes. I don't know my foster parent's opinion on the matter. I just... I have no idea how to tell any of them that I'm pan. I start to wonder, if I even should. I mean... Is it even their business? And I don't want to deal with that whole, "You're just 14, what do you know, it's just a phase," because I have felt like this for a LONG time, and whether or not it's permanent, it's who I am right now. Since no one in my birth family is on speaking terms, I wouldn't be able to sit everyone down and tell them, I'd have to repeat it several times... I don't know what to do! And I don't know how to tell my friends. They are really good friends, but I don't think they would be as accepting... Two of them are bi, but they're guys, and for some reason, people seem less weirded out by a guy who likes guy than a girl who likes girls. I would consider myself more heterosexual, but more homoromantic... My ideal person is a male crossdresser, or FtoM trans. I don't think I'd ever be able to explain that to any of them... Somebody help me. Or at least be there for me.
Hey (*hug*) just showing my support and totally there for you if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me. I'm still in the closet and you dont have to tell your parents until you are completely comfortable and ready I dont think. I am out only to my best friend but I was pleasantly surprised when I told her I was a lesbian. Maybe you could just tell a close friend that you trust to start off with. I know I felt like I was going to explode if i didnt come out to someone soon. (*hug*)
I just told one of my friends, turns out she's bi. ^^ But still. I kind of want to stand on the roof of the school and scream, "I'M HERE, I'M KIND OF QUEER, DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!" But then I remember how scary heights are... And how scary, ghetto, and homophobic my school is. TT^TT
Congrats on coming out to your friend. I get coming out urges too and I always really want to tell my mum. Good for you though and even if your school is homophobic you wont be in school for ever
Hey, Im also in foster care. I understand your problem. Anyway if you want to talk , just send me a message on my wall.
If I were you I would just wait till you're in a more stable position to tell everyone. Telling friends that you trust is fine so you have people to talk and vent to, but parents and family are more complicated. I would wait until you're older and they'll take you seriously. Heck, I don't plan on telling my dad until I'm two years into college just so he can be sure these are my feelings as an adult. I know it's a long time to wait but I'm still in high school too. If it's really bothering you I would just try to get them open to the idea before telling them. As your family it's partially they're job to love and accept you for who you are. And as yourself it's your job to be comfortable with who you are inside and out. There's a time and a place or everything- you just have to make it. (Also with the friends thing make sure you can really trust them! It would be awful if they turned out to be not so accepting!) Anyways I hope I helped at least a little bit! Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk to: I'm all ears!
Well, I came out to most of my friends. All of which were accepting. But that's not helping ... Anyway, I don't plan to tell my family. I don't think it's really their business so if you don't want to tell your family then I don't see a problem with it. Then about your friends, what do they think of girls that like girls? I don't think they'd have too much of an issue if they are in the LGBTQ community. Although it might be best to just wait unless if you don't feel like you'll be comfortable until you tell more people. That's how I was. I couldn't be calm until I told people. It's up to you.
My friends know I'm an avid yaoi enthusiast. (They don't, however, know that I like yuri.) And they're okay with that, but they always say, "Well, at least you don't like yuri!" So... It kinda makes me wonder, how they would react to my non hetero-ness.
I was going to say "you dont need to be out until you are ready" but.......... since you are considering about doing this I guess you feel the need to? People may not be as open and acceptance as you thought they would be but at least you know who are your true ally. And people are full of surprise =) for what ever you decide, you have my support and if you ever need someone to talk to..... I'm here =)
Hi, I'm here for you. I am sorry you are going through a really difficult time. You aren't alone. Also, at the top of the page there is a link to resources, which are a bunch of people on this website who are here for you, too.
I think the main thing would be why you would need to openly come out. I've been with women and men in my years and just now questioning what it was that kept me from feeling comfortable in my skin. (I'm going to be 60 soon) But the main thing is unless people are giving you a hard time about dating or grandkids, which I can't really see happening at 14, then why push it? Are you attracted to any of your friends? IMHO it kind of creates unnecessary angst that you need to come out to everyone when there really isn't any immediate need to, if you know what I mean. You're 14. You're young. "When I was young" <lol> at 14 I was playing with dolls and whatnot. I had a huge crush on Paul McCartney). So here I am at 60 and re-examining it once again. See? Agonizing over it is probably not even necessary. I never felt like it was necessary to tell anyone about my emotional and sex life unless I confided in a close friend about relationship stuff. My 21 yo has educated me about all the Yaowi <sp?>, Manga (which all look like females anyway), Anime, lots of other situations that, well, not remarkable. I adore John Barroman...a pansexual from Doctor Who and Torchwood. ADDORE!!! Do you really need to say anything from a practical standpoint? I mean, what's the urgency? You can talk with all of us here and sort out stuff until you're comfortable with it. Maybe you might want to talk here about why you want to tell them? That would be a start and would be more helpful to get input based on what you need to do. So, yeah. I know you don't want to hear it but you're so very young. It's just what it is. We're all listening. IronC
