I am a fourteen year old (nearly 15) lesbian who has tried, multiple times, coming out to my parents. The thing is, I always get too scared and change the subject or pretend that I was talking about something else. I really want to be able to connect with my parents about things in my personal life, I want to be able to get advice from them about crushes and such, but I just can't bring anything up without "outing" myself. Recently, a while back, I did something I know I shouldn't have done. I described my crush to my mother as if she were a boy, and I ended up feeling like such a liar, all I wanted to do was try to connect with her. Naturally, all this ended up doing was push me back further into my closet. I tried, in the car-ride back home, to come out, but I ended up changing the subject and claiming that I was talking about my grades. Even further back, she asked me if I was gay, but of course, I denied it. The thing is, my parents are pretty conservative, but I don't know the extent of their conservatism. At some points, they seem kind of cool with it, but at others, they seem to have this "disapproving" stance at LGBT people in general. I'm too scared to bring up the subject with them, because I'm sure it'll just make their suspicions grow about me, but then I won't know what exactly they think of people like me. I think they already have their suspicions about it, but I don't think they really would like to think about things like that. I fear that they'll blame themselves for it, or blame my sisters or something like that. I just want them to be happy and accept me for who I am, but I don't want this to come at a cost to their peace of mind and happiness. Don't get me wrong, I know there is nothing wrong with me. I don't fear them kicking me out. They are wonderful people and wonderful parents, they raised me around books and all sorts of access to knowledge. My father taught me about history and politics, I wouldn't be quite as informed as I am now if it weren't for him. I don't really care about their stance on marriage rights, because they are typically quiet and respectful about the issue anyways (they don't really get political about it), I just don't want them to think they did something wrong or treat me any differently than they did before. Basically, I fear that they will treat me differently, or they'll become worried (they have a lot of things going on right now). Any advice for this Lesbian student?
Firstly If your worried about them not supporting you financially (or kicking you out) wait till your financially independent but from your thread I get the impression that your not. I don't think that the threat of them treating you different should change your decision to tell them at the end of the day if they don't fully accept you then that's their problem. I personally very shy person so I have experience in saying things that I'm nervous about saying. When you go to tell them say it as quickly as possible in the conversation don't put it off as you will probably end not saying it at all. When you actually say your a lesbian or gay or whatever think about actually saying it instead of thinking about how they are going to react. But most of all whatever happens its ok to be gay/lesbian and don't let anyone make you feel inferior because your a lesbian. Good luck
Yeah, I just get so worried about their reaction. I don't want them to disapprove of me or think there is something wrong with me.
