Church and Gays

I'm sorry you are going through this Lacri. Can you go to the Support and Advice section here and download some of the PFLAG materials for your mom? The Faith in Our Families is really good for Christian families. Also, the Your Daughters and Sons publication. Both are excellent!

 

I don't know what to say, I want to help you but I don't know the words to say... This is probably the worst case I've heard of in a while.

I like becky's idea, but I don't think you'll be able to convert your mum she seems pretty set in what she believes.

Good luck though.

 

I hate church and I've always felt uncomfortable there even before i knew i was gay. I told myself at a very young age that i wouldn't let them brain wash me lol. when i read your post it reminded me what im afraid of if i come out. The bible was writen along time ago and it is what those people interpretations of there times back then. if the bible were writen to day it would be very differnt. I know a lady in my church who has a son thats gay and she talks about how hes ruining her life and stuff. When I see people who have that much hate for someone just cus they are differnt I want to throw up (even more so when they are talking about their own son or duaghter)

 

She needs an education is all. Many religious people come to love and accept their GLBT children after they learn more about it.

 

I agree with Becky, education will help her come to love and accept you. It is a shame that people can't seem to love their kids for who they are. My father is Catholic, he didn't really accept me when I came out to him and many things are still way up in the air between us. However, she is your mother, and if there is one thing I have learned through my own mother, its that a mother's love can never be extinguished. She will learn to accept you, her maternal instincts will kick in and the voice of reason will knock her upside the brain and ask her "why are you treating your son differently because he's gay? You still love him, now act like it." It might take sometime.

Best of luck

 

Same thing is happening at my church now for the last 7 years The word homosexual couldnt be heard but now that we have a new preacher it heard it so far he done it twice if it happen again im not going back.( he not homophobic but he just think it wrong)

i just sit there and fall alseep with my eye open =)

 

Well, I was kinda in the same situation as you.
Not with the family thing, but the church thing.

Before I joined EC, I thought that being homosexual was very wrong and satanic in the eyes of a christian. But when I joined here, I was told that if you show love to others then you are doing the right thing. No, God doesn't hate homosexuals, he loves them. If you're a homosexual and you're showing love to yourself and others, then you are doing the right thing and there's nothing bad to worry about.
You just need to be responsible with your sexuality - not sleeping with this person and then this one the next day, that doesn't only matter to gay people but to straight people, too.

So if you're doing the right thing and showing love through your sexuality, and being responsible, then you know that God loves you and God knows you're doing the good things, try to tell your Mum that, maybe she will understand by that.

 

I'm bugged by the entire "gays are spawn of Satan" crap. It seems to me like people blame everything on Satan. Pretty soon, people will be blaming petty mistakes on Satan, like this.
Guy #1: Hey, guy #2, what did you get on your test?
Guy #2: I got a D, must be the work of Satan again! *makes cross sign*
Guy #1: Yeah, I know, we must douse this test in holy water and make it repent!

 

In the interest of fair play, I should point out that my parents are both hardcore Christians. My father is Roman Catholic, and my mother is Episcopalian (Catholic Lite - one third less guilt!). When I came out to them, they were amazingly supportive. They didn't douse me in holy water or drag me to church to "save me". They knew I knew who I was, they totally understood, and we're still on fantastic terms - they love my partner as much as I do. So not all Christians are destined to damn us all.

>>>He even went as far as to say that no homosexuals are happy, that if you were to ask one they would say that they were happy but they really weren't.

Well, yeah, if you drag them to church for two hours at a stretch, of course they're not gonna be happy. The priest probably wouldn't be happy if he was forced to go to a drag show every week, either.

About the best you can do is bide your time. Hopefully, in two years, you can either go to college or move out, and start living your own life. Until then, you may just have to ride it out. Lean on your friends, and us here at EC, for support when you need it. Avoid undue confrontations with your mother. Just be a good person in thought and deed, and plan for the future.

Good luck to you!

Lex

 

wow I like what Lexington had to say. While I'm not a hugely religious person (because of having to hear I'm going to hell all the time) I have to say that not all religious people are all "you are all going to hell" I think that you should just try to be the best person you can be and pick your battles with your mom maybe you can try to educate her but unfortunately some people don't want to listen to what we have to say when we try to educate them (like some of my family) but there is no harm in trying to confront your mom with the materials you can get here. Also you only have a couple of years left until you can try to move out and start your own life and have the freedom you need.

Good luck and I suggest looking at the materials becky has put on this site.

 

I am a very strong Christian. I feel even if I am gay it doesn't mean I can't believe. I did go to church a few years back and finally found one in the next town over. It was an open and afirming church. They even perform civil unions in these churchs. I do however feel sorry for those Christians that tend to judge us. Isn't it said in the Bible. Not in these exact words. Don't judge less you be judged. I feel if I am going to be judged it's between me and my higher power. It must be hard to listen to this negativity all the time. I hope you find a lot of needed support within the gay community. Parents are strange when it comes to there children. They have a plan in their heads of how their children will be when they grow up. And when they don't turn out that certain way. They get all freaky. Your Mother will believe what she wants to believe. But being a parent myself. I think she should be a parent first and raise her chidren with respect and understanding. It probably is hard to change her way of thinking now. But if she doesn't understand. Make her understand. If by talking to her with out judgement. Maybe she will follow the lead. I wish you well.