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Either my friends are oblivious or they are just really nice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Skhal, Mar 16, 2013.

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  1. Skhal

    Skhal
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    Hey everyone!

    I need some help and fast, I am at a friends house with nearly all of my friends and I wan to come out as casually as possible. So my friends say gay jokes and by that I mean they jokingly call people "faggot" but I know they don't actually have anythig against gays. There have been points today where I try to make it obvious: I am showing me on this forum on my phone, looking at pictures of guys, one of my friends even threatened, as a joke, to show his "nuts" and I just said, "meh I am used to it I've seen a lot" and nothing! I can't just sit them all down and say I am gay, they aren't like that. But I am sure they know or have at least thought of it by now because I know I am a Pretty feminine person,and are too nice to bring it up and make me feel bad. So how can I say it as casually as possible without too much drama. Any advice?
     
    #1 Skhal, Mar 16, 2013
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Just say it with as little fanfare as possible, and no beating around the bush, say simply "I am gay"... I don't know the situation, but announcing it to everyone all at once seems a little risky, however, if you trust your friends, it's probably the best way!
     
    #2 greatwhale, Mar 16, 2013
  3. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    If you are showing them Empty Closets, you can just explain what you've been doing here.

    "It's a support community for gay people. You guys know I'm gay, right? Well, this forum has been really great for me, because I've been able to talk to people about it on there who are having the same kinds of experiences as me."
     
    #3 Ianthe, Mar 16, 2013
  4. Colours

    Colours
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    They can't not have clue if you ask me. Maybe they just know or suspect it, but feel no need to bring it up. It sounds like you're fairly open about it already, so why is there any need to actually come out?
     
    #4 Colours, Mar 16, 2013
  5. Skhal

    Skhal
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    I am not sure if I am just at the point where I want to tell absolutely everyone i see. Maybe I should slow down a bit and be a little more clear headed. Not to mention I am too scared at this point to do anything serious. I don't know anymore, maybe next time...
     
    #5 Skhal, Mar 16, 2013
  6. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Ah, sorry, I didn't realize this would really be your first coming out.

    Pick just one person that you know for sure will accept you, and tell that person. Do it in whatever way is easiest for you; send a text message if you have to.

    Don't worry about "drama" or whatever. This is a big deal for you, and it's okay to act like it.
     
    #6 Ianthe, Mar 16, 2013
  7. Skhal

    Skhal
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    Maybe, I guess my fear comes from the fact that I don't think any of them would understand I mean they would know but I can't exactly talk to them about my feelings. I wish I had female friends but I don't and I go to an all guys school. I guess what I really want isn't so much to just tell everyone, rather to find someone I can really talk to.

    Wow this thread has been great for me venting lol I have been able to get down to the core of what I am feeling.
     
    #7 Skhal, Mar 16, 2013
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