Hi guys, Aged 20. Recently came to the realisation, or accepted the realisation, that I am a lesbian. It was a pretty terrifying conclusion, but I guess, for the first time, I'm really starting to feel like everything makes sense...like I can really see a future for myself in a way I never could before. I just came out to my best friend. It was fine. She'd kind of guessed, and was very happy I told her. I also confided in a guy friend, who is gay...so that was pretty easy! He offered plenty of advice! It felt really great to share with them both something which has really been eating away at me for a couple of months. Family will be challenging. Devout Catholics, old-fashioned, homophobic grandparents, skeptical sister...so many aspects of it are complex and difficult. However, I have a wonderful older sister (Aged 28) who I know will be helpful. I'm certain she won't have an adverse reaction, and that she'll be supportive. More than anything, I just want to confide in a family member and I know she has great insight into the family, so will be really great for the scary coming months. So, last night, I bit the bullet and text her to see if she'll go for dinner with me tomorrow. Its not unlike us to meet up or anything, but seeing as I just saw her last weekend, I know she'll probably wonder about the impromptu get-together, especially as we normally get all my siblings roped in. So, I know she'll be wondering whats up. I really want to tell her. I guess its only now that I've got a time and a place that I'm completely panicking. I can't even comprehend the words to use, to be perfectly honest..How do I tell her? I've been so anxious all day, and I'm half thinking of cancelling. I know I want to...I need to...but how do I??? :help:
First off, welcome to EC! Congratulations on accepting yourself and beginning to come out! Telling any family member, no matter how accepting they'll be, is terrifying. You're brave to do this. I know that this is really scary for you and if you cancel I don't think anyone on here will judge you for it. But if you go through with it I think you'll find enormous relief. I think that you've already realized this. It is no longer a want, it is a need. As for how to tell her, well, I've tried a number of ways, not all of them as successful as others. I think the best thing to say to her would be something along the lines of "I've got to tell you something but first off I want you to know that this doesn't change anything about me and I don't want it to impact our relationship... I'm a lesbian." Telling her straight up is better than skirting around it I've found. This way she understands right up that you have something important and personal to tell her, and is ready for it. But if you don't want to do it this way, then don't. It's just my two cents. Once again I think you're incredibly brave for doing this and I wish you the best of luck! Your sister sounds amazing! (*hug*) :goodluck:
