1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

LGBT club at school

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DanDan, Mar 17, 2013.

  1. DanDan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    344
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi everyone! :icon_bigg
    This is alot of writing, but bear with me please. :slight_smile:
    I've been very depressed lately (for a long time actually :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:), and have been feeling very lonely (I've even cried myself to sleep some nights). To start off, a little about me:
    I go to a very gay tolerant school with a zero tolerance of bullying. But the thing is, I still haven't come out yet entirely. I've told my therapist (very nice lady, she was the first person I have ever came out to, but I couldn't afford to see her anymore because they stopped accepting my type of insurance, but coming out to her inspired me to come out to my best friend, who kinda knew all along)and 5 other friends, and some other people suspect. However, the only reason I haven't came out entirely is because I really don't want my family to find out (It's just my mom, my grandma, my aunt, my cousin, and me. The rest of the family doesn't care about us at all).My family is very religious, and I am too, but not as much as my family is (it's complicated). My mom says she's not homophobic, but every time a gay themed subject pops up, she acts rather homophobic towards it. I know she'll still love me, but we both have had a difficult life and our relationship isn't really strong right now, and the last thing I wanna do is hurt her. My cousin's homophobic (I talked to him on facebook about 2 months ago, he asked me if I'm gay, I said no, and said "good, you scared me for a moment there). My aunt is probably on the same level as my mom, and my grandma....I don't even wanna find out :icon_sad:
    if my family wasn't an issue, I would've came out already, but since I don't want any word of me being gay reaching them, I have to keep a low profile.
    Anyways, I've been tempted to go to my schools LGBT club, but I'm to afraid because I don't want my family to find out (these things always lead to that). I was considering going, coming out to those there, and telling them to not tell anyone else and keep it off social networking, etc. I'm just really confused on it. What should I do? :icon_redf
     
  2. izzyblue1456

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Going to the LGBT club would be very helpful and will give you allies to help you in your situation. The only problem would be the confidentiality of you being gay. I dont know if they would be able to keep it to themselves. Coming out to your family seems to be the biggest issue for you right now. I really dont know what to tell you except that maybe you should just keep letting people know and maybe one day you can tell you family. Thats the position Im in right now. My mom is very religious along with the rest of my family but when I told her she was very supportive and even started to talk to a pastor that has a gay son. He was very helpful with her understanding and accepting me while also seeing his view of things from the standpoint of a pastor. I guess what Im trying to say is that you may be surprised by how accepting some people can actually be. They may seem to be very homophobic but the might be very accepting deep down. I would also try to find a group that deals with homosexuality and with religion and see if the would be able to help you and your mom. They may even be able to help in how to come out to her or they may have a program or something to help you mom and you through this.
     
  3. skiff

    skiff Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    2,432
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Peabody, MA - USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    You know... Sometimes the very things you feel you need least in life are the very things you need most.
     
  4. CountessAbby

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Female
    Going to the club at school does not necessarily "
    mean" you are gay. If you want to keep it from your family until you are older and on your own thats perfectly acceptable. Especially if it makes your world easier for now since you are living in their home. Many times kids go to these clubs to support their pals...and you should certainly join. You dont have to explain your reasons to anyone either. You dont have to tell anyone right now. Kids in highschool sometimes prefer to wait a bit until out of the house. But I think you should join the club. Just because you join a guitar club, that doesnt mean you play guitar. Maybe your friends do, maybe your thinking about taking lessons or maybe you just want to bounce some ideas off people about guitars. Whatever you do is fine. Same as bringing in canned food for the homeless to school...doesnt make you homeless does it? My son is 16 and he is in that club at his school. They are quite a ragtag group and he is gay....but they have members who are not gay as well. Good luck to you
     
  5. Iceman110295

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2012
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    everett ,Wa
    I joined the school club for gay straight alliance and I told them that I’m straight even though I’m gay (I think). in the club people were talking how they were experience was coming out and most of them said it was hard but they were good in the end but good thing to me was that it was run by teen.at the end of the season I dude pulled me over to talk to. He said that I know your gay and secret safe me. I wanted to denied it but I would have mess up my chance to have a new bi friend and too have some lesson to my life story

    So I think it’s good for u too go to the club might help you with your problems and you might find a best friend like I did or more.
     
  6. StormySea

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2013
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm in a very similar predicament! xD I'm planning to join the LGBT club at my school next semester and give them my alternate email address (for club updates and reminders), because the only way my parents would ever find out I joined is from looking through my email. One other issue though is yearbooks- and I don't know what your school does with clubs in yearbook, but I know in some places they list participating members. So something to look out for ;3
    However, as others above have said, you can always tell your family that anyone can join the club and play it strait.
    You've got the upper hand in this one kiddo- do whatever you think will be the best course of action for you!
     
  7. DannyBoi66

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Universe, Milky Way, Solar System, Earth, England
    I think that you should! You'll feel much more less lonely and more accepted. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
    But, if your family needs to know what your up to most of the time, then you should probably keep it a secret for some time. If you think that either keeping a secret from them or if they find out by themselves would hurt your family most, it being me, then I would keep it a secret. But it's your choice! :slight_smile:

    Good Luck! :thumbsup: Hope I helped!

    P.S:Your username is the same as my nickname!
     
  8. DanDan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    344
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah, that's another issue. My mom's friend's kid is coming to my school next year (not sure as of now, but chances are high), and I don't want him to out me to his mom who'll then out me to my family. :/
     
  9. Ianthe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,760
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    If you are worried about joining the club, instead just notice who is in the club, and make friends with those people.

    Then come out to them.