I get asked all the time by all sorts of people whether or not I'm a lesbian. The honest answer is that I really don't know. My heart and mind are one swirling ball of confusion and I haven't really come to a place where I've settled on a label for my sexuality, or even for my gender. I don't know if it's worth telling people that when they ask. It just leads to follow up questions that try to get me to give a definitive answer (even though I just said I don't know). It feels rude to refuse to answer and when I do it's generally assumed to mean "Yes, I am a lesbian, but I'm embarrassed about it." So, I've just been saying no when they ask. And saying no if they follow up with "are you bi, then?" But it feels really dishonest. Is there some sort of magically tactful and definitive response that's still completely honest? Or is running through the exhaustive explanation every time the only option?
"I like girls." Of course, you might still need to explain a bit each time (people seem to have this aversion to things not being "labeled"), but the above statement is 100% accurate, right?
I think you should either be honest....or not say a thing. It depends on who you are dealing with. Sometimes, "I'm not sure" is a "yes" to some uneducated folks. Just do what you think works best?
You know... I think it is. Thank you. A lot. I've been trying to deny that for a very long time. But you saying it brought it home and sort of... lifted a weight off my chest. I do like girls. Wow.
"So that's a yes, then?" :/ I would put more faith in "I'm not sure yet" because anything skirting a real answer like that will make people assume immediately.
I used to respond with no. If you don't want to be dishonest, feel free to respond with "I'm not sure (yet)."
But, if you are asked by someone who you know wouldn't accept that or would spread the news, just say "no". There's nothing bad about lying in this situation!