So Confused please help!

Hey, man! You're just like me a couple of months ago - jumping in between denial and sure of being gay. Soon, you'll get out of that phase - read the Kübler-Ross model, it explains the stages of grief and is used all the time to explain the behavior of people coming to terms with their sexuality.

Hah, about the whole vagina thing, I couldn't agree more - just think of what the gay guys married to women on this forum have to deal with.

Everything becomes easier over time, mate.

 

You sound gay to me. I am, and I experienced almost the same thing.

Except that I never watched much porn until I was out of school. Parents owned the computer and were prudes. I got grounded for a month once for playing a detective game that had a painting on the wall of a woman covering her bare breasts with her arms...

Anyway.... I never found the female anatomy repulsive. I just always wondered why when friends wanted to watch porn with me, I didn't get turned on by it at all. (And obviously, more turned on by them getting excited and doing stuff right next to me...)

 

Damn, this was me in December. Like identical stories, except you're younger than I am.

Hang in there buddy. No matter what conclusion you come to, there is nothing wrong with you, despite your name. Also you'll never get hate on Empty Closets, so post whatever you want. If you wanna talk you can write on my wall.

I hope you live in a place where you'll be accepted. Good luck.

 

When my brother was 13, he was starting to notice girls' butts.

I don't think heterosexual teenagers typically go through a 'gay phase'. Some teens will experiment with same-sex behavior, but without feeling same-sex attraction (or much less than they feel for the opposite sex). But if you are feeling sexually attracted primarily to the same sex, that means gay no matter how old you are.

 

You're right. Grade 7, it's very much like elementary with the guys and the girls segregated, and then the moment you get into grade 8, boom, all the guys are stupidly horny and talking about girls all the time. This kinda puts 13 year old gay guys like myself and OP in an awkward position. At least that's how it's worked in my grade...

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and like The Dude said, you won't find hate here on EC. Everyone here is either going through or have already gone through what you are expierencing. I wish I had known about this forum when I was your age. It can be very confusing, especially with all the social stigmas still tied with homosexuality. I was the same way as you, it wasn't really the guys I was attracted to, it was the sight of a nice looking penis. Looking back I see that it was because I felt that those feelings were wrong, so I didn't think much about the actual guy himself, but the attraction was so strong that I still got off looking at penises. I only recently came out to myself, and just tonight I came out to my mom, and it answered a lot of questions. After talking a bit, we now believe that me living in the closet was the cause of my anger, depression, and other psychological problems I've dealt with for the last 13 years. Basically, I didn't accept and I hated who I was on the inside, and not talking about it caused my problems. And now, I can entertain the thought of a cute guy, I can "see past the penis" so to speak. If you're unsure, then you need to look into yourself and figure out who you are, and accept yourself as you are. You didn't have a choice in this, no matter what others tell you, sexual orientation is not a choice. You do have a choice, however, in whether or not you will accept it and live a happy life as who you are, or hiding it and living a life of shame, guilt, anger, and depression. I know that from personal expierence. Since you are exhibiting some of the same thoughts that I did, I believe that you are gay. However, if you are questioning it, it is an answer you really need to find out. But please, don't rule it out as absolutely not possible. Good luck on your journey, and remember, you have plenty of people here who are walking beside you, you are not alone.

 

Glad we could help. Just remember that we're going through the same thing, and I've got 5 years on you. I'm also happy you changed your name! Just take a deep breath and relax, it'll come with time. Just enjoy being 13, you don't need to worry about sexuality for a few years anyway. And you're right, although I do think I'm gay, Mila Kunis still is pretty hot.

 

Hey hon, take a breather, it sounds like you're freaking out! From what you mentioned I get that you have this voice in your head, (most likely from friends or family) that's influencing you by saying you're too young to choose your sexuality, but that's not true at all, especially during the teenage years. This is a time to explore, and realize new things about yourself. I know it sounds easy to get caught up in the "it's just hormones talking." Kind of thing, but remember that hormones are NOT always wrong. Yes they can lead you astray sometimes, which is why you have to take them with stride, but if your brain and your body are telling you something, try to listen to them, they know what they want, even if it's just for right now. Now I'm not saying, "go out and kiss a bunch of guys to see how you feel." I'm saying take a breath, explore the space between your thoughts, and listen. Your feelings could change, or they could not. Either way the first step is acknowledgement, and to do that you have to be willing to listen, and understand.

 

This was me a month ago. Now, I don't even look at girls