Family to me is everything. However, all of my family are set-in-their-way anti gay Christians. I know exactly how they'd react to it if I came out to them, so I decided something. They will never, ever know. Its hard, but would be a lot easier if I had someone nearby to share it with, however my preference is men, and neither gender is very desirable where I live, nor are there any gays in the first place. Hopefully I can find good support here until I move out. I just wanted to know... Does the secret ever stop feeling so heavy to bear?
First of all, the gay gene does not miraculously decide to populate certain areas. So if you think that there are no gays in your area, then you are completely mistaken. I know your family are set in their ways, but do you think there is any possiblity that they may change their minds? You would be surprised that when an issue comes up on someone's doorstep how quickly they can use their experiences from this viewpoint and develop new thoughts on an issue. Also, things are extremely rapidly changing in the U.S. Senator Rob Portman just came out in support of gay marriage, and he's a Republican. And he changed his mind because of his son. It was on his doorstep. A pile of senators are coming out in support of gay marriage. Hillary Clinton did it last week. And support for gay marriage is constantly increasing. If you think there is no possibility of this (and I would think that the chance of there being no possibility is slim), then you will just have to wait until you move out. Are there any support groups in your area? What about in your school? Could you talk to your guidance counsellor? And no: the secret does not ever get easier to bear. It only becomes easier when it stops being a secret. So if you've been planning to keep it a secret forever, then you need to do an about-turn on that logic. But once the secret isn't such a secret anymore, it definitely gets better. It really does. Have you looked at the It Gets Better project?
TwoMethod said it. Secrets get heavier the longer you hold on to them, and you will never know until you try. It might be easier to broach the topic with your parents neutrally, say, in a conversation about said senator Rob Portman or a nearby gay pride parade. It might help you scope out the territory without giving too much away.
