After yet another fairly bad argument with my mother, I finally actually asked her to go to a therapist. I've said it before and then back out, but this time I meant it. I got online and my mom is going to make an appointment with this therapist, what's awesome is that she works with gay/lesbian issues too! But thank god my mom didn't see that part :eusa_clap My mom asked me if the main reason I wanted to go to her was because she's pretty... I just smiled and nodded and said "Well... she's not ugly " Avery Behavioral Health, Psychologist, Gainesville, TX 76240 | Psychology Today's Therapy Directory Any advice on coming out to her and how to break down my issues to her? Because it's been a long while since I talked to a therapist.
Coming out to my therapist was the best decision I made since coming out to myself. I've been in therapy several different times during my life, and it's always hard to get started and explain what exactly you need help with. The good news is that it's the therapist's job to help you verbalize your problem. It's perfectly ok to say that you need help explaining since you haven't done this in a while. You can say that something is hard or uncomfortable for you to talk about, or that you don't know how to put it in words. If it helps, you might want to write down a few things ahead of time if there are some issues that you want to make sure to mention. Good luck
I'd approach it entirely matter-of-factly. She works with LGBT people and you know it won't be an issue... so you could just start right off and say "Probably my biggest issues center around the fat that I'm gay and closeted, and my mother is incredibly smothering and manipulative, and I guess that's a pretty potent combination" or something like that. That would be a great jumping off point to start working on the issues. The one thing that concerns me about that therapist is that it seems her primary style is CBT. CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) is primarily focused on coping strategies and changing behaviors. It works well in the short term for depression and anxiety, but it's less helpful for things like understanding how your mom has affected you, or for dealing with your mom. You might ask her if she is comfortable working more insight-based approaches with you rather than CBT-based; though both skillsets will have their place with the issues you've talked about so far. More important than anything, though, is finding a good rapport with your therapist. Often it takes a couple of therapists before you find one you really connect with, so don't be afraid to try someone different if you don't connect with this one after a session or two.
