My parents are strict religious people with Christian views towards homosexuality. Recently, I have been feeling some different emotions, which has lead me to the conclusion that I am bisexual. The problem is that my parents despise gay people and have always asked me when will I get a girlfriend. Also, I have a friend whom I have known for a year now and worked with. He was openly gay and had shown flirtatious actions towards me back before he moved out of state - I told him I was straight back then. However, now I told him about my situation and he is texting me with smileys and such, but I have no way to visit him. What should I do? Should I tell him I think I have feelings for him or should I stick to experimenting with people in my area and stay in the closet?
You need to wait to come out to your parents. And as for your friend, you should tell him you like him. You'll never know if its met to be if you don't tell him.
There's not too much information for me to go by, but... I'd say that you should come out if or when you feel ready to. I'd hazard a guess and say that the time isn't now, especially since you're just coming to terms with your own sexuality. How would your parents react to you telling the that you're bisexual? Would they give you the cold shoulder, or kick you out? As for the guy you may have feelings for, since he lives far away, I'd try and keep things friendly for now, at the very least. Maybe later, when you're more sure of your feelings, you can decide whether or not if you like him in that way. I'm curious about a few things. You can answer them if you feel comfortable, but pondering over them at the very least will help you ascertain your own feelings and thoughts. Do you feel attracted to women physically? Do you feel attracted to men physically, or is it a kind of envy (for example, that guy's really built, I wish I was as fit as him)? Also, do you have feelings for this guy romantically, or do you just feel a certain kinship with him as you've told him about how you (might?) like guys? When I came out to people, I automatically felt much closer to them. When I met people around my age who were gay or bisexual, I kinda just jumped at the opportunity to date, 'cause as a gay teen, there are barely any dating opportunities (in general). Things didn't work out, in 3 total attempts. It's possible you might be doing something similar. Long distance relationships are difficult. If he's the first person you've talked to about these kinds of things, it may not be wise to just jump into a relationship with him, even if he's interested as well.
I agree with Luthan. My basic philosophy for coming to terms with my sexuality was "explore the space between your thoughts. Question. And decide when you feel ready." To explore the space between your thoughts means to relax...to let the gay come to you without trying to force it. So instead of looking at guys and asking right away "DO I find him attractive?" Just let yourself feel it. Notice it, but don't necessarily act upon it just yet. I say this only because I found it helpful, however to each his own. Also I would advise you to wait before emgaging in any kind of relationship before you're sure how you feel. Some might say don't knock it 'till you try it, but if you consider yourself before all else, there won't be a need to try eveything. You'll just know.
Do you feel attracted to women physically? Yes I have a mutual attraction for them. However, I feel attracted only to some aspects. I could not see myself having sex with a woman Atm...but I still like women. I have taken surveys and they say im bi.. This explains this. Do you feel attracted to men physically, or is it a kind of envy (for example, that guy's really built, I wish I was as fit as him)? Yes I have an attraction towards some men but only for people that I have gotten to know as friends and/ or co workers. also, I could see myself with man and having a relationship - I want to have a relationship. I like doing gay acts sexually also, which leads me to believe that I am more towards men but I have not engaged in foreplay with a man. Also, do you have feelings for this guy romantically, or do you just feel a certain kinship with him as you've told him about how you (might? ) I want to have a relationship and figure something out - my family is unaccepting and would probably kick me out or slap me upside the face - they would laugh and probably ask if im joking. I really want to hug the people I have feelings for and hang out/spend time with them. Is that gay? Not sure..
