WOAH! This sexuality thing just got way to much for me to handle!

Okay, I don't really know where to start. Or where to go. Or how to get there.

(SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT THAT YOU'RE NOW CONFRONTED WITH)

I'm turning 20 this year, and I haven't come out to anyone. I've played it so straight that I honestly don't believe anyone would guess that I'm gay.

Personally I've known for the past 19 years, but I've never acknowledged the idea of actually coming out and what not. In a sense, I really didn't care.

But. Literally over the past couple of weeks, even the past couple of days, I've realised that I want to, and in a sense 'need' to come out.

I find it strange though, to this day, I can't ever remember shedding a tear about the whole thing, but tonight, not half an hour ago, I had a thought that almost turned me into a ball of tears. That thought was the acknowledgement that being in the closet is stopping me from falling in love. As soppy as it sounds, there it is.

I think the time is nigh!

It all sounds so simple:lol:, but I'm sure people on here obviously know that isn't the case:lol:

As for my parents, I'm 99.99% sure they wouldn't care, but still I just can't do it, in my defence I've literally just started to entertain the idea of coming out

My extended family however, I hate to say, is a lost cause. They're the kind of conservative catholics that if something LGBT came on TV, they would immediately change the channel with and audible and visible cringe. The worst part is they do/did this in front of their children. Talk about teaching acceptance. However the silver lining of this is that if I continue to play it straight (in the immediate future)for them my potentially large inheritance will still be mine :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: I win this round conservative losers! Fortunately I was blessed with not being baptised or raised with any religion around me.

Anyway, on the whole, I'm really finding this change way to much to deal with. I just wish I hadn't ever played it straight, I wish I was one of those people that was open early on in their youth :bang:

So that leads me to, DRUM ROLL, how do I come out to my friends and family?

For family, I've been thinking of leaving a note and skulking off for a few days...but I'd probably work myself into a bit of a state. Also my parents are separated, and I really can't be :***: going through the whole ordeal twice! Normally I don't think they'd care, but at the moment my dad has his own demons he's dealing with, and my mum has just got into romantic relationship, after 10 years single and raising me and my sister, she's so in love with him and I'd hate to damage that!

Then there's my sister. At the end of the day, she'll probably be the first to know. She's a couple of years older than me, and yeah that's that.

After family is tackled, I guess friends will just sort of happened.

So, there you have it. If ANYONE can give ANY advice or comforting words (they're nice okay!) I'd very much appreciate it!

Thanks
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Finally I'd just like to thank the Owners, Admin, Mods, Contributers and everyone else for having this place for people to talk! Before I posted this I scrolled down a saw that there was so much activity on the threads, it's so amazing what you've done and allowed people to do here!(&&&)

 

Thanks for the advice. Maybe a friend is a better option, I just really don't know.

Yes and no. It is only recently that I've had this intense desire to come out, but 'this spur of the moment thing', has been known to me for 19 years...

 

At this stage I'm just sooooooooo tired of 'living a lie' the whole reckless bravery thing just sounds like the best option

BUT

You're probably right

 

At the moment, I'm thinking I'm of coming out to someone who used to be my best friend. We're still good friends, and he's gay.

I used to be really supportive of him coming out and would always be the person he talked to it about, but, because I've struggled with the same thing I got really sick of hearing about it all the time, I just didn't want to have to deal with someone else's coming out whilst I couldn't. So, our friendship diminished, but still I feel connected to him. Hopefully he takes it well.

I'll admit, he's always been the person I'd like to tell. However he's also been the person who at times has probably guessed at me being gay (as in coming onto me and asking me if I'd ever kiss another guy). I just hope he doesn't hold it against me!

 

This can be my official saga thread

So of course, I go out clubbing and start making out with girls! That's the first time I've ever done anything like that. And I mean the FIRST TIME...

So thanks alcohol. You're a really good mate! Always helping me make the right decisions :/