so ive come to realise that i am bisexual and im trying to come to terms with that. since i was raped at age 15 these thoughts have over shadowed every day of my life. recently had a bday so spent time reflecting over the past 10 years and while i have had many amazing experiences in life from travel to working on dream events n just everything. i have good friends, one side of my family is very loving and i really should feel lucky to have the life ive had. but when i look back at all those amazing times the one thought was always there to ruin those times. everywhere i went i felt that if i didnt pick up with some hot chick than it was a blow out and would end up depressed when i didnt. all because i have constantly tried to get the perfect girl in order to displace any suspision about my sexuality. i think right back to beginning of high school and ive always searched for the 'perfect girl' in order to please my father or my friends and again divert any suspision about my sexuality. i do love women, when im with them i feel at peace and they are truely beautiful. i often compare women n men by thinking women are like a ferrari, they are sleek and beautiful n make u drool to look at, whereas men are like a 4wd rough, rugged and get the job done. the tough part about coming out is i live with my best friend, male, and have done for about 4 years. we are the "nice guys" of our group and usually the single guys. i have had my suspisions about him before but im not attracted to him in anyway. problem is i feel like if i come out when he is single than all our friends will start to think theres been something happening between us, people have commented on how we act like a couple sometimes. so i feel like i want to get this huge weight of my chest and be open n happy with my life without living this lie but should i wait until he has a girlfriend so there is no suspision from our friends of him being gay or bi as well? or should i just open up and let people think what they want? i just kind of feel it would be unfair of me to come out and have his life put under the microscope too....what should i do?
last two post and no one responding with advice...thanks really helps to know that even on a site built to help with these questions that no one cares
2AM my local time and only saw your post just now. Insomnia so much fun. Will reply more fully later. Promise. But gotta sleep now. Talk a ya tonight. Todd
My two cents: Focus on being honest about yourself. If I were in your shoes, I would come out to your roommate first then focus on telling your other friends. If you are worried about your roommate not taking it well, have a plan in place so you can stay somewhere else if he needs space alone to process it. If he takes it well, let him know you are telling your other friends next. It's possible he may want to be there to support you. When you tell your other friends, let them know you just came out to your roommate. You can bring up how they always teased you about being a couple, but they only got it half right. Tell them you're bi. If they give you flack about liking him, be honest and say he is not your type in part because he is straight. Your language should always refer to him as straight even though you are questioning it. If he is bi/gay, it is his decision alone to admit it when he feels comfortable.
thanks thats kind of what ive been thinking, he is my bestfriend so i guess its good practise to telling other friends and also give him time to prepare for what may happen when i tell other friends, maybe even give him time to find a girlfriend before i tell others and just come out to family until then. its funny cause i could care less what people will think of me but i dont want people to be thinking the same about him. thank you so much for your reply
