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I want to tell my family...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dd1, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. dd1

    dd1
    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I've decided that I want to tell my family, I have been considering it for a while but have had mixed feelings about doing so in the past, thinking maybe it was better to wit until I had met someone or that other things happening would make this the wrong time.

    But I now think that it would probably be better to tell them now, not to just get it out the way, but I would rather that they hear this from me then someone else, as most of my friends now know and it is a pretty close knit circle of people with my parents family talking to there families.

    The trouble is that as a family we don't tend to talk about stuff like this, my brother had been bringing home girls for years by the time he was my age and I have never brought a guy home so I am kind of hoping they at least suspect something, But I really don't know how to bring this up, I have also found it hard to tell even the closest of my friends, once it has been said then I find it fine to talk about it all but finding the first two words to say I'm gay seems really hard.

    I want to do it right when I tell my family they mean a lot to me and I know I will only have to do this once, but I want to do it well and make them understand stuff that I struggle to understand myself. Also a couple if my friends have offered to come and help me if I want, but I feel like this is dragging them into something that they shouldn't have to do and I don;t want to make my family feel bad that I choose not to tell them first.

    Any help/suggestions/opinions much appreciated thank you.
     
  2. Amelie

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    If you want to tell them then you should.

    I am planning to go home this bank holiday wkd and talk to my mum. I've had a girlfriend in the past when I was at Uni which she knew about but we've never talked about it since. I think she dismissed it as a phase... Anyway, I've met a woman I really like recently and it made me realise that I need to chat with her again. It's not about waiting until you are in a "serious" relationship to be open about stuff.. at the end of the day, you need support through all the "almost" relationships, or just general thoughts/fears for the future that you may have etc. which should allow a conversation about the fact that you're gay.. you know?

    So, I totally see why you want to speak to them and make them understand.


    As to how, if I were you I'd pick a time after a family meal or something, when everyone is nice and relaxed with a glass of wine/coffee or something and then just, say, that you have something you want to talk about it, it may seem a bit random, but... etc. I wouldn't involve your friends because your family might feel a bit ambushed, and it's unlikely to turn into an open forum in the same way where things actually get discussed fully (which it seems you want).. Maybe speak to a sibling first (you mention a brother?) and then, when the conversation starts he/she will already be expecting the conversation and can step in and steer the conversation for you...?

    Just a few suggestions for you. Best of luck!

    :slight_smile:
     
  3. Mysz

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    Try doing it on your birthday. You are the star of the show then; all attention will be on you. With a captive audience, you can gain the time to say what you want to say. Also, birthdays are very appropriate times to talk about how much you loved growing up with your family and love them all.
    :goodluck: