to really think, to try to make things better, to get out of the damn bed every morning, to talk to anyone about anything because there's no one literally, to socialize.can't even make a coherent psot here. And I know for sure in a few months it will get worse.. do not ask why because it's personal. And until it gets worse I have other things on my mind, even stuff like appearing in the highschool year book I'm not interested in doing. No good memories nothing to remember. Don't want to take a picture of me as I'm right now (dead face and not the best actor). Don't want to hear any pathetic description of me from people that don't know anything about me. But then I feel like it will be loserish in a way. So this post doesn't maake sense and I don't know what the purpose is...
no offense but it sounds like you have depression. I most likely...have it as well (undiagnosed but I know enough...to figure thats what it is.) I had the same problem and still do some days. But what I did was make a purpose. Like a goal for the day. No matter how little or big...I made one. And eventually over time (a bit) I got to where I was wanting to do things again. By making a goal I mean getting something done. Which it could be as little as feeding the dog or something. Or something larger. You may not want to do it but you have to force yourself to. (Which takes almost all of the effort in the world I know). But once you do you'll start feeling better slightly. A good idea could be a chore list for around the house....well its a start! Any questions or anything you can pm me. I'm here.
yeah i THINK. i get what you mean.. like you cant be asked to do anything and you cant push yourself to do what you want?? or something?, well me, alot of times i just cant be bothered to get up in the morning and go to work, its liek another routine again.boring..like theres alot of things i wanna do but i cant get myself to do it like my job, i didnt get it my self my mum got it for me ¬__¬, i always think things wont happen so i just dont do it i guess, i tired doing the goal thing but .. i just coudnt be asked doing it
I wish boredom was the reason why I'm so hellbent on doing nothing and purposely going for things that are supposed to be bad for me. Even actually touched drugs although I'm not guilable to think it's not bad. I'm not an addict but I'd probably be happy to make myself one because my life feels so incredibly empty and pathetic, it's almost like a revenge. The reason why I can't get out of bed in the morning is anything but boredom..it's a mix of hatred, anxiety, loneliness, despair, you name it.. I'm fully aware that I have depression and have it had for years but now it's getting over the top because I'm facing the same issues again and something bad is coming up in a few months. The few months leading up to it are full of things that make me anxious like this stupid yearbook. I don't even want to take a picture at all or appear there by name. That stupid little thing is actually a dilemma. Can't think of a goal. And even if I can, as much as I want to I can't go at it. You can tell me to try harder and in theory that all makes perfect sense but when I push myself to do things I'm not ready for I fail. Socializing could probably do wonders for me but even that goal (that I felt strongly about at on e point..) has kinda faded. Like I give up. And even if i were to force myself to meet gay friends somehow, I would fail because I'm not a friendly personality anymore. Again this is why I dont see the purpose of making this post. I can't go for things I want to because a big part of me doesn't care anymore or wants to self destruct completely. I guess I just want some sort of attention even if it's online.
Yeah i have bad anxiety and it sux.., i get what you mean by the drugs thing that you dont care, coz i smoke and I'm not even addicted but i just do it, i know I'll get cancer but i just still smoke it. I'm not bored of life, I'm just bored of MY life, i just cant do what i want
I once had a depression for almost one year - I am glad I didn't take any of these antidepressents. Instead, I worked my way out. I picked up new hobbies. Read up something that you like. Draw comics or anything (even if you are not good or whatever), write a novel or anything for yourself. It's relieving. I didn't even work for one year after my A-Levels because of that depression. If I worked, even more shit will happen to me - so I need some rest and break. By the end of the year it disappeared.And I entered college at last. And try not to smoke pot or do any drugs, it's not really enjoyable if you get hooked. Also, find some one else to speak to. It's relieving as well. About the school yearbook thing, if you are not really happy about your school, or your classmates, just take the photo, grab the book, stash it somewhere else at home, and forget about it, and make a group of new friends when the chances come. There are always new people who are willing to meet you. Hope that helps.
I have to agree with what the others have said, try and find something, anything to do, a new hobby or a task to achieve, anything to take your mind off things. You'll find having accomplished something will make you feel a bit better about yourself. You said you used to be a friendly personality, try and find that, get that back somehow but first you need to try and feel better about yourself. I understand about the loneliness, I'm pretty certain that I'm depressed and I've gone through years of being unable to connect with anyone, somedays you don't seem to make any impression on the world and that just makes you feel rubbish. So try and do something to cheer you up, take a break like darkestknight suggested, I wish I had done that. Just put up with the yearbook, it's not that big a deal, it is for some people but obviously not you. You don't have to look at it ever again, just leave it somewhere to pick up dust. Then try and be positive, be confident in yourself and when you're out of high school you have a fresh start to make friends
Well, to tell you guys and girls the truth, I got at least 5 yearbooks from my high school. The most memorable is only 2001. (That time I just transferred to another school) Unfortunately, all I reminisce on these yearbooks 2002-2005 are god damned nightmares. I never even touch or read them anyway in the end. Screw the yearbooks. Time to move forward. What for looking back? Go and think of good times you had before. Leave the bad times, drop them and enjoy your life.
Get your picture taken anyway. Then, in a couple years, you can look in the yearbook, and think of how far you've come. Lex
Hatred in the morning huh? Well I can't help you there. For me I generally try and think of it being a new day...and shit I sound like doctor phil...I usually try. No matter what is coming for me. With the goal things I didn't say that for boredom I said that because once you have something like that...it slowly starts a chain reaction I suppose you could say. Once you start with one thing you start another. I'm just saying thats what got me through... But everyone is different. Know this though..you have to want to be better. I'm not sure I can help much...but know i'm here.
