Okay, so because I'm an impulsive person, and because my ex annoys the hell out of me, I've just outed myself to a guy I don't even trust anymore. I don't even know what I'm asking for, just someone, please for the love of all that is good in this world, tell me what to do with myself, because right now, all I wanna do is scream at myself, and throw a few things across the room. UGH WHAT WAS I THINKING?! :eusa_doh: :bang: :help: :icon_sad:
Hmm… Well you can grab a pillow, set it on your bed/lap, and bury your face in it as hard as you can to release a scream or two or three. That helps me feel clearer. Next, is the ex a loudmouth? If he is, can’t being outed lift a little weight off you? Even if just depending on who is told? You’ll get through this, and be even stronger in the end. (*hug*) Try music, too. Like Enigma or something. That group always calms me down.
Why are you freaking out? Do you think he'll out you to people you're not out to yet? If it's a guy you don't trust and / or like, he doesn't have to necessarily be in your life anymore. I suggest drinking some tea or doing something that calms you, personally, down. That's what I think you should do with yourself =) The world's not over just because this one guy knows (Unless... Maybe he does something with that information? I dunno. But I'd say that you should still try to calm down)..
It's not that I'm afraid he'll tell other people; somehow that seems blissfully comfortable to me. It's the questions, the endless badgerring of "But you can't be." "When did this happen?" "Why did this happen?" "Is this why you broke up with me?" "I don't get it, explain." The questions...the endless, relentless, non-chalant, disbelieving, questions. I can't think, or speak, I'm shaking, and I can't help it. I'm just so afraid of who I am, that I can't even answer myself, let alone him. I promised myself, I said I wouldn't come out until I was sure, until I knew who I was, and what I wanted. And Now look, it's going to be one big mess.
Honesty. Outright tell people who ask that you are still finding yourself and will let them know when you have figured everything out. Take steady “normal” breaths. Count how many you can perform without ending the inhales/exhales too soon. Or there’s this grounding thing I read about in one of my books. If I remember proper you bunch and relax muscles for set reps, starting with your fingers and gradually including your arms and the rest of you until you feel calmer. I can sympathize and understand that this is extremely hard, but still want to say you’ll be okay. (*hug*)
Tell him you're still figuring things out yourself, and that you'll answer his questions some other time later. Right now, I think it'd be best if you got your thoughts together, and let your emotions out / recollect yourself. Don't be afraid of who you are. There are lots of people here who'd be happy to help you out through this rough time. (*hug*)
Thank you for the support. He ended up saying congratulations and thanking me...for some reason I can't understand...for staying with him through it. I feel much better now but I can't shake this feeling...does this mean I'm not gay? Oh God if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to go out in decent company anymore.
Aww sorry. (*hug*)Now I have run out of things to say. Some thing's just throw us for a loop for a while. I just got past one of my renewed questioning phases. (Still questioning though.) But seeing as I am only twenty, probably not the best advice giver on this subject lol.
Seeing as how I'm only seventeen I'm not the best advice-taker on any subject. I'll get through this. You were right last night, I feel an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders, now I just want to scream from the roof tops "I'M GAY! AND. I. AM. FABULOUS!" (!)
