That's completely understandable. After I figured out that I was gay, it took me a looooooong time to come out. The first step that I took was just coming out to a few close close close friends. The type of friends that YOU KNOW will not tell anyone something if you don't want them to. If you could give us of the details of your situation, I bet we could give you more helpful responses. Who are you living with? What are your parents like? What are your close friends like?