So the other day, I came out to my best friend. She's in college, so we don't get to hang out a lot, and we had just spent a day together. As my family was driving home, I texted her and told her I was gay, my family doesn't know, all that stuff. She took that way better than expected, and I was happy. Anyways, I have talked to her a couple times since then (I told her three days ago), and I feel like we're both happy, but we're also avoiding the subject. Conversations feel a little bit forced. I feel like it's just common sense to ask her what she thinks, but at the same time, thats not really how our friendship works. We were always the seamless friends who argued like a married couple and everybody thought was dating last year, not the tell me how you feel type. I don't really know how to see what she's thinking without sounding awkward. Any ideas?
I recently went thru the same thing. Not with my best friend, they both took it shockingly well, but with a friend nonetheless. It's kind of a tough situation from both views. You're relieved & a bit excited that you can FINALLY talk to someone about what you've both kept hidden & wanted to tell someone for so long. Though I've never had the conversation with a woman, those that found out were always thrilled & very supportive. So, since your experience is so different, my first thought is did she have other ideas that have been kinda shot down by your news? I could be dead wrong, but that's the first thing that came to mind.
No, maybe four years ago, but not now. She has a boyfriend, and we're like brother and sister. I guess what I would be shocked by, is the idea that I could know somebody for five years enough to spend most of my time with them, and THEN find out they're gay. Congrats on coming out to your friends. Did you feel like you were gonna puke as well?
Well, you both are really close friends from what I read in your posts. Perhaps you can bring the subject back up in person. Maybe start with an issue you are having being out/coming out to others or any thoughts. This is what I did when I came out to my first person (Also my best friend, who is a amazing girl). When I cam out, I had a lot of stuff, things i wanted to talk about. So, naturally the first person I came out to was the one who had to deal with my crazy But, my coming out to her was very healthy-and my friend is AMAZING and never made me feel awkward-she was completely understanding and proud as well as accepting.
Thanks & yes, I did feel like I was gonna puke. But I was pretty sure that my friends would be able to deal with this & move on, but as far as they were concerned there was nothing to deal with, I was the same guy I always was (they're really great guys!!) I agree with Acobi, in person is definitely the way to go with these conversations. Texts lack any of the emotion, and a phone call can't give you the hug you're gonna need.
I could have been the one to post this, I know exactly what you mean. When I told my best friend, she was accepting and all that, but the conversations did seem a bit forced for a couple of days. And yes, I felt sick afterwards, for quite awhile. It's a pretty big thing to drop on someone, so I'm sure everything will return to normal for you guys, like it did for me and my friend.
