I have always been myself in every aspect except my sexuality, but when i discovered myself that i wasn't being myself it threw the rest of who i was into question. I began to wonder if i really liked what i did or if i was just doing it to hide who i actually was. So i decided that i had to come out so i could finally be without fear. After telling some people and hanging out with some other gay people i now realize i am exactly who i always was, but i just also happened to be gay. While in many senses this is a good thing since the people i have been hanging out with are still the people i want to be friends with and i don't have to redefine myself. However the fact that i haven't changed makes some people think i am actually straight and that i was wrong or just confused, and it makes other people think that i am just hiding who i am. I HATE THIS STEREOTYPE!!!! :tantrum: My Dad still ignores me and is in denial about my sexuality because i haven't become a stereotype the same with my friends. They actually asked me if i had a girlfriend. I could have let that one slide had it been one of my friends i hadn't told directly but i told this friend. Part of me wishes that i was a flaming stereotype. At least then everyone would believe me when i told them i am gay.
I'm the same. My parents didn't believe me. They thought i was joking. I don't see it as a bad thing tho
Hey, first of all, congratulations of plucking up the courage to come out, because you're right, it's incredibly hard. I was going to ask, how long have you been out for? Because for the first few months/year people can be disbelieving/in denial/think you're confused/feel sorry for you because you don't "fit the stereotype" etc. When I first came out, I had the same problem. I am the least most likely person you would pick as a lesbian. I'm feminine, I have a purple room, I like reading and staying indoors, I hate sports etc. What you have to do is just stick at telling people you're not confused, you do like guys, you're not wrong. If you keep telling them, you're going to eventually get into the minds of all but the dumbest of people. You are perfect just the way you are, so don't change for anyone. So many people become depressed and lonely and miserable because they feel inadequate to other people, but they're not. You are not inadequate. You're not a flaming stereotype and that's it. You are you, that's all there is to it. Just live YOUR life the way YOU want to, and stay strong.
Sometimes people just cant understand things that they dont know much. Maybe you have to try and talk to them in a different way so they can understand you better. You dont have to change so people believe you that you are gay.
He said it well: you don't have to change yourself to convince people. I don't fit half the stereotypes surrounding gay people and several friends and family members were still able to guess. The ones who weren't accepted it after not a very long time of insisting that I was who I said I was. Just give it time for now.
First of all, congratz on being all the way out *is jealous* Second, you DO NOT want to be the stereotypical gay guy. I fit the stereotype almost perfectly and it annoys the crap outta me. Be happy that people think that you're straight cuz most guys like the straight acting kinda guy better anyways.
I definitely don't fit the stereotypical transexual girl... For one, Im a geek, and I don't want huge breasts. Also, I have Asperger's syndrome, and a few people thought that automatically ruled being a girl out.
Just remember where the problem lies. Not with you, but with people's perceptions. One of my friends said I couldn't be gay because "I dressed like a slob". He's right, I do. But I ain't gonna start buying nicer clothes just because the stereotype says so, or because it confused people I can be both slobby AND gay. If they have trouble reconciling the two, that's not my problem - that's theirs. Lex
