So I'm 22. I find guys far more attractive than girls. I'm pretty masc, and don't really seem like I would, but after people know me for long enough my basic disinterest in talking about dating or anything people start to question, but I have shitty self esteem that is just as noticeable, so that's been my basic story. I still live with my parents, had a shit ton of bad luck so far in numerous ways and its definitely not by choice to still be with them lol. I've always wanted to wait until I am out on my own, or at least could support myself comfortably financially to actually start coming out. That SHOULD be within the year or possibly a month or two since I'm finally getting on track towards having a decent paying job and am looking forward to being out on my own. The issue I'm having is that I really don't think it will get much easier once I have my own place. In a way I think it may make it more difficult to actually bring it up to my family. With that, the last few weeks I've been more comfortable with the idea of being into guys myself, and I feel like I should at least let my mom know before I start actively looking to meet someone. I don't think she would take it too bad, she at least wouldn't disown me or anything. She loves me and lets me know almost too often lol. There has been a few times in the last little while when we are just sitting alone, and bringing up the topic just sits at the tip of my tongue, but I can't actually get myself to start it. Even with my dad, who I honestly have no clue how he would react when I am with him alone I feel an urge to say something, but that's far less likely to happen. I live to make others happy though, and constantly put them before myself. It seems to just be my nature, but I'm trying to let me think for myself and screw the opinions of others that I really don't care for in the first place. This is probably the main thing holding me back. I kind of just want to know how to get the nerve to actually say something and does it actually seem like a good idea to not wait? Really my dads response could be anywhere on the scale from just not caring to disowning. He's impossible to read for things, and is sort of two-faced.
Wow you sound like my Canadian counterpart lol, I'm pretty much in the same situation. Maybe you should wait until you find a place, but you haven't started moving in yet. It's sort of like of having the best of both, and it would also give them space to process it and a safe haven if things go south with your dad, since you say he's a wild card. I'm not sure if that's best thing to do, but nonetheless, I wish you the best of luck and stay strong!
Both my parents don't know either. I do live somewhere else though, with my twin brother. Nobody knows. I don't think it will get harder if you see them a bit less. I think it depends on how close you are with them, and how much you will see them when you move out. How they see you won't change when you move out, so their reaction to you being gay will probably stay the same though. But in any case, go for what feels right! If you think you should tell them while you are still living with them, I would go for that! Maybe after you move out, it will become easier to avoid telling them? So if you want to tell them, now might be the time! (no pressure)
I just don't want to end up living a double life once I'm out on my own. I almost feel like I already am just browsing a dating site with the intention of meeting someone if they seem decent enough, so far I haven't though. Coming out now would at least give them some time to realize it doesn't actually change anything about me, since its not like I really put on an act or anything. I doubt I will say anything to my dad though, it doesn't really matter if he knows or not, he's not that big of a part of my life anyway. Thanks for the responses and nice to see I'm not the only one in this situation right now Aabol haha.
I agree. The idea of living a double life sounds horrible! So then it still comes down to what feels right. I'm still reaching for the "I accept I'm gay" phase, and I think when I get there I'll be ok telling everyone because I kind of figure they'll accept it. The only way you can be happy is when you are not stressed, and totally ok with who you are.
