I'm leading a workshop at my school with a few other members of my GSA. Last night, I accidentally left the agenda on the kitchen table. This morning, I came down to breakfast and he said he had read the plan. It mentions a few things about coming out stories and the like, so he asked if I was gay. I'm not ready to come out to him yet, but I know he suspects, and I'm really scared. He didn't take it amazingly with my half-sister, and he still isn't very close with her. I'm really scared. Help please?
There's nothing worse than being asked before you're ready to tell anybody. I'm assuming based on what you said that you told him you weren't. I don't think you should come out until you feel you're ready to handle any reaction that you might get. Maybe it's not a bad thing that he suspects it though, whenever you do tell him it may come as less of a surprise to him and he might already be sort of prepared for it.
This is exactly what I was thinking as well. My mom cornered me with that question a few months ago as well, and I denied it. so I know how you feel. Don't rush yourself on his account though. When the time is right, you'll know.
Oooh. That's a situation. Silver, or Sparrow, or whatever I can call you: come out to him when you feel ready to. No matter what, you should never feel pressured to do that. I was a little pressured to come out to my mother and a and a few ex-friends by another ex-friend, and it's one of the worst feelings ever. I had actually pretended to sleep that lunch so I didn't have to answer anything. You've probably heard this one a lot, but I feel like it's one of the few morsels of information that I can pass on which I've learned in my life: if your family is pretty to very homophobic, and you're financially dependent on them (I'm guessing you're a high schooler?), don't come out to them until you can support yourself. I think I know your situation very well; I was one of the founding members of a GSA at my middle school, and - well, I didn't even KNOW I was bi back then - I constantly got asked by my family if I was lesbian. When I tried joining a GSA at my old high school, my mom flat out told me not to join because "honey, people will think you're a flaming d*ke!" Whatever happens to you, Silver, Sparrow, whatever-else, you are BEAUTIFUL. You are WONDERFUL. You are AMAZING. And NO ONE can take that away from you. <3 Keep your head up! We all love you. AM I RIGHT, EC? Good luck.
This same thing happened to me when I was 15 or 16...I didn't even really know back then what I was, but I denied it. It's a horrible feeling.
The cat's pretty much out of the bag. Unless he's really dumb, it's unlikely he'll buy the denial, given the evidence (why would a straight person be giving a workshop for a GSA dealing with coming out issues.) But if you can sort of keep the don't-ask-don't-tell thing going, at least he'll have time to process and think about it before you have to talk about it. It sucks, but there really isn't much else you can do at this point.
I have been asked in the past & I denied it, I was still confused, but I am ready for the question now, if my Mom asks again, the answer is yes
My Moms asked me in the past, but if you pardon the pun "I wasn't Straight with her" I denied it every time, as time goes on & I am not entering a relationship, with another Woman, she is bound to ask again, this time I won't deny it, a bit of a chicken way of doing it, but I would find it hard to just bring it up (*hug*)
Yeah I agree with everyone here that if you're not ready, don't come out just yet. You'll get to a point like myself when you'll wish they would ask. I'm so ready for that question. It would be so much easier than me actually telling them too...
It wasn't about coming out issues, it was a general workshop on LGBTQ issues. Here is a synopsis of it Four members of GBSTA (Gay, Bisexual, Straight, Transgender Alliance) will discuss the idea of “Invisible Identity.” Participants will do an ice breaker activity, share stories, and discuss some of the events that GBSTA organizes. This workshop will cover frequently asked questions, including, “how can I be supportive of a gay member of my community?” (This will be a safe space for all students to discuss issues related to the LGBTQ community.) This is a detailed plan of the workshop, which I had printed, left on the kitchen table, and was read by my father. More Detailed Plan: Introductions (5 minutes) Welcome! Introduce ourselves/who we are [give very brief overview] During Our Invisible Identity, we hope you will learn how to be an ally, how you can make your school a safe and more welcoming environment for LGBTQ students, coming out advice, and can ask us questions... icebreaker question with introduction Go around and do introductions: name, age This is Safe Space explain confidentiality (whatever’s said here stays here), read bullets on slide Same love by Macklemore Personal stories (10 minutes): how our sexuality has affected our lives What does it mean to come out? How can you be supportive of someone coming ou t? How can you, yourself come out? Also, it’s ok not to be ready to come out Terminology Explain Genderbread Person Quickly run through terminology on slide: (let’s try not to spend ages on this part) What does it mean to be an ally? What’s your definition? create brainstorm definition (write on board), brainstorm ways in which you can be an ally to somebody Situations: how this can apply to you at YOUR school ask: does anybody have a situation that they can think of that has come up at their school? Or a scenario in their mind/question they might have? if not, use the written-out scenarios: (the written out ones) What would you feel comfortable doing? Open up discussion: how might this apply to you? Any questions for us? Safe Spaces, and how you can create them talk about what GBSTA does: events, meetings, discussions how you can start an organization at your school (find adult allies, etc.) if not, how you can create a similar environment for people at your school Questions what have you learned? what can you take away from this? So yeah, I'm absolutely terrified:icon_eek:
If *i* were a dad and saw that... I'd certainly have suspicions. Just sayin'. One of my good friends and I have this good-natured, ongoing joke in which, when somebody says something unlikely ("I could win the lottery next week") I'll respond with "Yes, and there could be a straight male president of a GSA somewhere, too." (Our ongoing disagreement is on how likely that is; I say very unlikely, he says otherwise.) Point is... there aren't a ton of people who have involvement in GSA who aren't LGBT. And your dad might assume the same thing.
I know how you feel. I'm 14 and when I was 12 I started having sexual thoughts about men. My mom picked up on it somehow and started getting me too sew. I thought oh god she knows(sorry to any straight guys who sew(not many straight guys do)) . But I just played straight for a while until my mom got calmer. I haven't come out to my parents yet but I'm pretty close to it and I'm sure that it'll be easier for her to understand than my dad.
