Background: I've been house sitting for a while and going back home to live with my parents very soon. So, I don't really mind coming out to my parents because I know I'll have to do it at some point. I'm kinda stuck though. On one hand I don't want to come out to them right now because I still live with them and I'm planning on moving out as soon as I can find a job that will sustain me. On the other hand, it's very hard having accepted myself as trans* (why do people put the asterisk there?) and then living as a girl and wearing girl clothes feels like undesired cross-dressing to me and with them calling and treating me as a girl I start to shut down. I am not confident my parents will be accepting of me, so it would be awkward if I'm out to them if theres that tension... What do you all think? :S ---------- Post added 6th Apr 2013 at 12:30 PM ---------- I suppose the other option would be to just stay out of the house as much as possible and do some fancy gymnastics to transform back into myself after I leave each time... or hole myself up in my room. Great, then there's also the job thing... will have to present as a girl there too... :dry:
Well, from what I know trans* refers to trans{man,woman}. As for coming out, if you living as a female is causing you significant dysphoria, which it sounds like it is, then I think that you need to, assuming that you don't think that your parents will kick you out of the house or whatever. People need to refer to you as your male name, use male pronouns, etc. and you need to insist on that! That starts by coming out to your parents. While it's difficult, I think the reward will be worth it in the end.
Ohh yes I see. That makes sense. It does cause a lot of dysphoria, and I don't think they would kick me out, although you never know. The biggest issue is if they don't accept me or if things get very awkward. I wouldn't be surprised if they refused to accept this of me or call me by my male name and pronouns which could just make things worse. But maybe the small chance of of a good outcome would make it worth while? I don't know ><
So it ended up that I came out to my mom... sort of. I told her that I always felt like I was a boy. Basically she ended up saying she'll always love me, that she doesn't really understand, that she thinks my mind needs to align with my body because if my body is of a female, that's who God made me to be. I believe my mind is of a male, it's hard for her to understand that. THAT's what's more real to me. I didn't think either of us were ready to go further than that. XD But I think it went about as well as I thought it would. But better in some ways. She did say she wasn't overly surprised. But was confused as to why I didn't want short hair as a girl when I said it made me look like a boy. When I told her it's because I thought it would help me feel more like a girl, that I was trying to fight my experience and change myself, and that it didn't work, she didn't get that either for some reason. She tried to understand, so that's really good.
