Am I too young to come out?

Maybe someone will come behind me to go against what I say, and that's fine. Lord knows I'm not the most experienced in life, and my advice may be a bit off. =P

If you are comfortable with approaching the subject, I say make a go of it. It's never an easy thing to do, and most of us know it only gets tougher later in life.
At 13, I'm not saying you're too young. At 13, I knew I was gay, even though I didn't let anybody know for another five years. But I knew. Nobody knows you better than yourself, yeah?

Just to reiterate, you know yourself. If you are sure of this, if you are able to muster up the strength to approach the subject with your mother, or both of your parents, do so.
I wish you the best on your path in life, and hey, should you go forth and need support, you're at the best place for it. =)

 

I totally agree with Abraxas, I wish I could have come out at your age, instead of living a lie for so long :eusa_doh:

 

You are never too young. I knew I was a lesbian at age 10 but, I never knew how to put it into words. I feel like now, you are old enough to understand and articulate your feelings so, if you want to come out then come out! Good luck!

 

I told my mother about a dream I had when I was 5, and it was very gay and corny. (I mean gay in the correct context, not the homophobic replacement of lame.) After I came out to her (properly) she told me that I pretty much came out to her when I was 5. So I would say you're pretty old coming out in my books. hehe

 

I don't think it's too young! I knew long before I was 13 but didn't say anything until I was nearly 20, that's a lot of time wasted in the closet.

 

Well then you should definitely wait until you know for sure.

 

Hey! I've been in your shoes, and had questions when I was 13. You're way ahead of your time. If you feel ready to come out by all means do so, but think about these three things. I'm coming out of the closet myself and just starting out, so take my advice as you will.

1) Think about how your parents might react. If you think your Mom is going to freak out this might not be the best time.
2) You are dependent on your parents. Have a back up plan in case things don't go well.
3) You're a bit confused right now, and that's okay. But like others have said, you want to know for sure before making any announcements.

Good luck!

 

Dude, how long have you liked guys? Whether it's a phase or not is not a matter of age, but a matter of how long it's been going. For instance, I'm in the process of coming out and I'm thirteen. I've been crushing on guys since I was 10, though.

 

It coud possiby be just a phase or you could be gay/bisexual. At 9 is when I started having thoughs about one of my friends i tryed to hide and get rid of the thoughs and feelngs but I knew it wasnt a phase. Some people can tell earlier than others can its all about discovering yourself and who you are as a person but if your dead sure on the fact you might be gay or bisexual i say do what I wish i could of and come out no one is really ever to young if your sure of who you are but thats just my opinion. I wish you luck on self discovery and hopefully it all works out in the future. (sorry my spelling and grammer are bad was on phone when I wrote this)

 

Hi,
What strikes me when reading through this thread is that lots of people seem to be assuming you're 'ready to come out' and 'pretty sure' about your sexuality. But your original post doesn't come across that way to me, and that's why I've quoted it - to remind others what you actually said!

I think it's pretty scary when you're 13 to find that your sexual thoughts are about same-sex, and that's a lot to deal with. The point that other posters may have been missing, is that this isn't really about 'coming out' as such, because you don't really know if you're gay yet.

But the way you mention your mum, above, and the fact that you feel she 'really wants to ask' suggests that she is a supportive mum who loves you. Would it be out of the question just to talk things through with her, and let her in to what you're thinking - ie that you're unsure, having thoughts about boys, and worried?! If you feel she'd listen without judging you harshly or 'freaking out' too much, maybe it would make things easier for you as you go through the next few years growing up and discovering who you really are.

Just a thought Btw, I'm a mum of teenagers myself. But only you can try to judge what your parents' response would be.
Blueird

 

I was one of them. I came out to my mom at 12. It was one awkward conversation. I waited until my dad was out of the house, then told her I needed to talk to her. We sat down, and I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to get the words to come out..They refused. Stubborn words, indeed.

I ended up writing it down and showing it to her. I was instantly relieved, just knowing that SOMEONE knew. Of course, I got the, "I've known since you were three" spiel. That part was quite aggravating. Could she not have let me in on it?! I just spent three years confused outta my brain!

Anyway, after that night, we never spoke of it and I didn't come out to another person for three years. It was just that first person knowing that I needed, and I was perfectly fine with that until I was almost 16 and started coming out to everyone else. Of course, they all knew before me as well. :dry:

But, as others have said, until you feel sure you want to come out, and that you're actually gay for that matter, you don't need to. Don't come out for anyone else. Come out for yourself.

Also, this.

 

I don't think it's too son for you to know about your sexuality, since I think I've known I was gay from around that age too, but it may be too son to come out. You still need to get to know yourself and the people that surround you first, so you can decide the best moment to come out.

 

You said that it would freak your mum out, plus also that your not completely sure about this yet. I say wait a few years, so the shock will be less on her. I know how you feel. I wanted to tell her as soon as I felt comfortable with it, at 11. And again at 12. But I knew that with the problems in our life now, she would do what your mum would do to.

I don't regret not coming out sooner. If you think it's not best, don't come out yet.

 

I recommend doing as much reading and gaining as much knowledge on LGBT issues before making that decision. You need to be ready to counter any questions or concerns your parents will have, as hopefully that will help quench the "freak out" factor they would have.

You should make sure you've answered all of your own questions too, and are completely, COMPLETELY sure that you are ready. Try to know everything you need to know to make an informed and fully thought-out decision on whether to come out or not, trust me, it's a HUGE decision. Make sure you know what you are going to tell them, how you're going to do it, and be prepared for what questions they may have.

Although I'm not out yet, I believe that this will be one of the biggest steps of your life so far, and you should be fully prepared for it. Some may think that I'm over-thinking it, but you need this to go off as close to without a hitch as possible.

And my last piece of advice, with your parents probably "freaking out", prepare for the worst. It's always better to prepare for the worst and get the best than prepare for the best and get the worst.

But if you feel that you:

a)Are 100% Ready to go
b)Are sure that there will be no huge problems (getting kicked out, severe bullying, etc)
c.Know all you need to know to counter questions and concerns by your parents
d)Are ready for a possibly nasty initial reaction from them

...then by all means go for it, and if you do decide to take the plunge, good luck!

 

Firstly, you're lucky to have friends who do that. :lol: Also, if you've always liked guys, then yeah, you're gay. The reason you've only recently had sexual fantasies is that you're just hitting puberty - same as all other 13-year-olds.