Don't get me wrong i'm not someone who clings to relationships or someone who is looking for some meaningless fling as long as i can get some action. i'm just getting tired of being alone. i have always been alone and I have never even had a first kiss. My family is full aware of the fact that i am gay, and I am out so i don't really need to hide the fact that i am searching for someone. i am currently enrolled at both collage and high school, but i only go to college. My high school knows or at least some do, but because i defused the situation by acting like it was no secret and everyone already knew and that i didn't really go there anymore it lost a lot of its status as gossip so it never really spread. Now i have seen on some other forums that a good place to meet other gay people when your in high school is a GSA. The problem is that my high school doesn't have one and i really don't have the time to start one. Since i don't go to high school i don't have the day to day talking with people i know and meeting other gay students there. And at college no one really cares if your gay or not so i can't really meet people by coming out there. I don't live on campus so i can't really meet people there. My college does have a GSA and i have gone, but the only person that i met there that i liked doesn't feel the same way about me because i still live with my family and i am inexperienced. I have thought for a long time about how i could find someone, but i can't find any. Please if anyone can think of some way that i missed i would greatly appreciate it. :help: :help: :help:
Don't stop going to the GSA meetings. It will at least keep you involved in those social circles. Try to find somebody outside of the box. Volunteer, go to gay-friendly places of worship, be involved in civic organizations, fellow gay guys are out there. The thing to do is keep busy, so they know how to find you.
A common problem I see in people - gay and straight, young and old - is the "I wanna be in a relationship" one. And while I understand it, it's a bit misguided. It's like they're walking around with their arm around an imaginary person's shoulders, with a sign hanging down saying "insert boyfriend here". And that's not how it works - at least, if you want it work correctly. You see, boyfriends aren't found. They're made. You meet people. You get to know them better. You find someone you click with. Then you start building the relationship. Judging by the tone of your post, it seems like you think that the best way to get a boyfriend is to "cause buzz". You know, so if a rumor starts floating around that you're gay, that'll send more eyes your way. And you seem disappointed that college isn't like that - that it's no big deal that you're gay, so it's not worth being out. Your thinking is a bit muddled there, I think. Being out isn't about being the flavor of the month. Being out is about being honest. Being who you are. And - as a bonus - letting those who might be interested know that yes, you're gay. Since you don't appear to have any qualms about BEING out, then why not simply BE out at college? That doesn't mean wearing the rainbow flag or making a public announcement on the quad. Just be you. If asked, say "Yeah, I'm gay." Do keep going to GSA meetings. Don't treat it as a singles bar, though. Sure, if you happen to click with someone, great. But your main focus should be on expanding your social circle. Meeting new people, gay and straight, male and female. Because the more folks you meet, the more friends you get. And those friends have friends, and some of them are gay, and... So keep working that angle. Work on your social skills, your interpersonal skills, your friendship skills. Try not to focus on the "I need a boyfriend" aspect of your life. Yeah, relationships are great when they work. But you presumably WANT it to work. You don't want to hook up with a guy just so you can break up. So lay the groundwork. Get out there and start meeting people. Lex
Hehe, at first glance I thought you meant shopping malls and Broadway Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I agree that just because you GSA hasn't promptly presented you with a bf, you shouldn't stop going. That group will introduce to more and more people, who, in turn, will introduce you to more and more people, and along the way you are likely to click with someone. I agree with Lexington in that bfs are not found. But, you know, this is coming from Mr Never-Had-A-BF-Before, so I might not be the best to give advice
Ok i fully understand that i'm not just going to find a boyfriend that i need to just become friends with someone and build a relationship. And judging by your post i think i need to rephrase a few things. I am actually out at college the thing is that unlike high school no one knew me before so when this quarter started i just started being me so i'm not still closeted i just never really "came out" so to speak. Looking back on my old post i can see where that was misleading. And i never considered stopping going to the GSA i was just hoping that since no relationships came out of it that there could be some other place to look to meet other gay people who are my age. And no i don't treat my GSA as a club to find people i do actually put a lot of work into the club.
