Hey, I haven't made a thread in a while or even thought about coming out so I thought it was maybe about time I at least think about telling my parents at some point. I did vow to myself that it would be before I turned 20, which is in a couple of months. Although I doubt I will come out in that time, I really want to prepare for it. I plan on writing a letter because I suck at telling people things face-to-face. I tend to worry people when I tell them in person. Basically I'm scared to even write the letter because shit will get too real. Going over my life and past will be really emotional and directing it at my parents just makes me feel sick to my stomach. Plus I'm oblivious to what their reaction will be - they're not homophobic, but I doubt any parents actually want a gay child. Sometimes I think I'd rather them be somewhat homophobic, at least I'd know where I stood. I'd probably need somewhere to stay whilst they read it too. Where do I start writing a coming out letter? Do I write formally or how I'd naturally speak to them? How do I tell them? 'I'm gay', 'I like guys', 'I'm not straight'? I'll appreciate any advice, examples of letters and other peoples experiences. Not sure why I'm so scared, I'm sure other people that have strict conservative parents have far more reason to be scared. Thanks
There are samples of letters that others have written posted on this website. Looking at them could give you some ideas : ) I would post a link but am using the internet on my phone so cant copy and paste.
I wrote my first letter about 6 months ago. it was written on paper. I kept it a month. My mother lives for 1,5 thousand kilometers away from me. So I waited until she comes to me. and when she came, I chickened out and did not give it. When she left, I severed the letter. but it was bugging me. I'm tired to worry about what will happen to our relationship if I recognized her that i'm gay. So yesterday I just wrote another letter and sent it by e-mail. My mother reacted normally. Write her. Mom I'm gay. I love you very much. I hope that our relationship does not deteriorate because of this. and if so then I can not help it. i am who i am. This is what I wrote to my mother. and ask her not to ignore you.
Writing a letter to my parents is probably my best bet as well. I have not attempted a draft yet but I am not planning on doing anything until I am out of the house. I am not sure how they will react and doubt they would kick me out and disown me but you never know I guess. Given I am almost out of college and have a job lined up that will come about within the next year or so, although they are the bottom of my list to tell as I have not told any friends yet. I figure this way I can just mail it and forget about it until they contact me, which will give them time to get out of the initial shock and collect their thoughts. I told them I was atheist a year ago though as a test run and lets just say it didn't go so hot... but I know how you feel... right there with ya
Thanks for the responses. The problem is I can't even bring myself to attempt writing it. I wouldn't know where to begin. I've read other letters, but I'm not sure I could write something that would get across to my parents effectively. Maybe in the next couple of days I'll give it a try...
