Lately me and my mom have had a rocky relationship. I think I pretty much ruined it today. It started when my mom came home. She started yelling at me because there were 3 trash bags sitting on our front porch and she yelled at me because she thought I was the one who left them there. So then she asked me and my sister to finally get our christmas decorations put away. (long winter) So I went out there and did what I was told while my sister screwed around on her bike. So I told my mom that I was the only one doing anything out there. She told me to quit complaining and finish doing what I was told. So I finished. Me and my sister went in side to eat. When I reached to get Some of the food my sister said "ewww hes touching the food" So I jokingly touched her arm, Well she shoved me into stove. My mom didn't do anything about it so I asked her why. I said that if I do anything to her they are all over me but she gets away with it. My mom once again told me to be quiet because big brother was on. I snapped a told her that I wish something bad would happen to her so maybe I could actually love her. Then I stormed off into my room. When I came back out to get my dog, She said " here comes christopher to give me my apology." I told her No I am not going to apologize because I meant it. That's the last thing we have said to each other. I just don't feel that we love each other any more. I try to spend time with her and do stuff but we just end up arguing. I don't know what to do.
First thing to ask yourself, are there things going on at work or with your dad that are affecting your mum? Sometimes people are a lot easier to crack it when they have a lot of stress going on. Your sister sounds very immature, but maybe you should tell her to grow up? a) its only food, b) life's tough, so build a bridge and start getting over it and c) she's never going to get anywhere if she spends her whole life pushing the blame onto other people. If that doesn't work, the go to the sibling standby of screaming at her until she gets the message. worked on me, and it worked on my little brat of a brother too. But don't do that until you've tried talking to her, also, be nice to her if you can stay sane enough to keep it up. Sometimes little kids are just brats cos they want your attention, and they get it by annoying you. I really think you should apologise to your mum though. Saying you wish something bad would happen to her is a really horrible thing to say. Imagine if she said that to you? You don't have to apologise for how you feel, but you should apologise to your mum. And TRY to talk to her. Tell her (calmly!) that you feel like she only cares about your sister, takes everything out on you, etc. If she starts to yell, try not to yell back because if you can stay calm and keep your anger in control, I'm sure your mum will realise how mature you are, especially if she's the one who lost control and you didn't. I hope this helps, and you're more then welcome to PM me any time you like.
I agree that maybe what you said to your mom was a little over the top, but I understand why you said it, and she is being extremely unreasonable as well. Your sister also sounds like a pain in the ass, and i know haw horrible siblings can be at times. Maybe you need to reach out to your mom and start over. (*hug*)
I'm gonna try tomorrow to patch things up. I feel so bad now for what I said. It just seems as if nothing I do will make us have what we used to.
As much as I hate to say it, I think this is a fairly typical teenage mom-kid relationship. Mine is rocky like that quite often, too. Chances are things will blow over, whether they seem that way now or not. Wishing something bad on someone never feels good after, but sometimes it just happens... It is something that you should try to control, though. I've schooled myself to hold back saying things like that, because I always feel like such shit afterward. But, it's said and done, and you can't do much about it now... an apology will work, but even without that, I think it will just blow over. As a side note... I consider this a very good reason to blow someone off. I guess I'm not cut out to be a parent.
This sounds a lot like the adolescent tension that builds up between parents and teenagers but you can regain some control, this does require you being the bigger person. When you mum gives you joint jobs to do, accept but set the limit of your part of the job (make sure you take a little more than half the work then no one can complain) when you have done your bit stop then go and see your mum and tell her that you have done your bit eg; Your mum asks you both to clean the kitchen, you can say ok I will empty the dishwasher, put away the plates, fill up the dishwasher with any dirty plates, utensils etc and tidy away the work surfaces, that just leaves wiping down the surfaces for XXX *insert your sisters name* and washing the floor. If you do this your mum can't complain that you have been disobedient and you don't have to do ALL the work yourself. I have found that looking someone in the eye and asking them why they have just said or done a certain thing very disconcerting for the person in front of you. The next time your sister pushes you, don't react just look her straight in the eye and say "Why did you push me, what did I do to you that you would push me like that?" I'll bet you anything you like your sister won't have a valid explaination. If she does come out with some sort of poor excuse you can still counteract by asking her if pushing (or whatever) is an appropriate reaction to what you said or did. As for your mum, I don't know the full story but it sounds to me like she has just about had enough (she might have problems of her own that you don't know about) and when she gets home from work she just wants peace and quiet and not have to deal with sibling rivalry or anything else for that matter. We all of us say hurtfull things in moments of upset or emotional turmoil, weather you were justified or not you should apologise and take the moment to explain to your mum some of the tension between you and your sister and why it upsets you so much, it might give your mum an insight into what is going on in your mind and she might be able to take this into consideration.
