I have come out to only a few people. When I am thinking about it when I'm by myself I am..well I guess the word is excited (!)and it just makes me so happy because I have finally accepted it and am ready to tell people. The weird thing is my brother and I went to New York for a week. we went to the bar for a few beers and it came up in conversation and we was asking me question because he was curious about it. It felt weird talking about it even though he knew I was gay, he is fine with it. Is this a usual reaction when first coming out?
I still feel weird talking specifically about my being gay with people. I generally feel weird talking about any personal things about me at all, though, so it might be because of that. It does feel strange actually saying aloud that I'm gay, though. It's not that I don't accept it or am uncomfortable with it or anything, and it only ever comes up around people who I already know and I'm relaxed/comfortable around, but saying the words "I am gay" has a very slight uncanny valley sort of feel to it. I dunno why.
I agree. When I'm on my own and I'm thinking about saying the words "I'm bisexual", it seems totally fine and pretty normal. When I'm with my friends, even though they accept me completely, I feel a bit weird talking about it and it makes me kind of uncomfortable even though I know that they accept me and I accept myself.
It feels weird talking about my sexuality to people who know too! It's so weird but I guess it's just how it is... :/
of course it's a normal reaction. You're used to it, you know he is ok with it, but talking about it to someone else is still new. I felt that way when I was younger and not totally out, you spend time in the closet and you're gonna have to get used to not being in it.
Of course it is weird and seems a bit off to talk about this to those who know. I think it will be even weirder when the next step, a relationship, happens! It's weird for everyone, for a while, but human beings have an enormous capacity (for good and for ill) for getting used to things that don't appear like they will change any time soon, and being gay is pretty damn long-term (at least!)
I think part of it too is that the lies we tell ourselves and others to try to be/act straight almost become automatic reflexes after a certain point. It feels weird actually saying the things we would automatically keep inside, or not saying certain things to keep the façade going. Like suddenly going off script in the middle of a play. Maybe it's just me, since I've been performing this drama for so long. But that's sort of the way I feel about it.
Having only been out for almost a month now, I also feel the same way. I don't like saying the word, makes me feel uncomfortable. I still feel all of the negative connotations that surround it when I do.
