I have a friend that I've known since 4th grade. I really like him. I'm not sure if he feals the same way. He shows some signs that he is gay and some that he is straight. He does things like pull up his shirt and show his chest to other boys and he has even showed me his cock before. He has a reputation of doing this kind of stuff. But my other friend who is gay told me that when he brought up the topic of being gay my friend got all annoyed and upset. One time we had a sleepover and we had to sleep in the same bed and he didn't seem to mind. I'm sure what to do.
I'm gonna be honest, here. This is a kid who runs around showing his body to guys and sleeping in beds with other guys. On top of that, people don't get all defensive about an accusation if it's not right. If that doesn't scream gay, I don't know what does. Come out to him, and tell him that if he ever needs to talk to you about anything, you're there. Don't try to out him.
I know that's what it seems like but he is so straight at some times. Making fun of gays or using fag or talking about women
One word: denial. Seems like this kid definitely has a definitely has some sort of screw loose. Often when some one is in denial they'll do anything to avoid coming across as gay. I know I did, to the extent of becoming borderline homophobic.
What GArchi said. When I wasn't ready to come out at all, my friends (who seem homophobic at times, accepting at others) pretty much said I was gay and wouldn't listen to me when I said I wasn't until I said that I once had crushes on 2 girls. And they still kpjoke about it, just not as much. Man will they be confused when I come out! Anyway, I acted really homophobic at the time because I didn't want to be outed by them.
What you guys are all saying makes sense but I think if you knew him you wouldn't be convinced. A lot of my others friends and people at our school think he is gay. But everybody still likes him. He randomly shouts out I love you, grabs my butt and crouch acts like he is gonna kiss me and hugs me. He does this to other guys too. He defiant acts homafobic at times and talks about girls some too. He's a perv, watches porn all the time that my be why he does some of the stuff he does. I don't really know. This is been going on for more than a year now and it's starting to drive me crazy, I can't think in class and I randomly have fantasys about himg
Recently when he was doing another one of his little gay signs people started accusing him I being gay. He just calmly denied it and ignored them. The gay sign he was doing was shouting across the room to me I love you and caressing my ear in a sexually way and hitting my butt. I know these signs point to him obviously being gay, but sometimes I just feel likes he's not
He is always homophobic and There hasn't been any signs recently at all until this week. Me him and a couple other friends were at a park playing basketball when he just pulled his pants down and walked around everybody. He finds excuses to touch my butt whenever he can it seems like and today in class he was sitting. Next to me and he dropped his pencil and when he went down to get it he started feeling my leg not in a joking way. I tried to get more out if him so I did the same back. I started felt his leg like he did to me. And then we we both had our hands on each other and just looked into eachothers eyes for a good long 5 secs. And it was that way like where two lovers on a movie look each other in the eye and realize they love each other. After that we started working against and then he reached over and stroked my arm and asked if it tickled in a sort of romantic way. I said yes it feels good and did the same and stroked his arm. And sometimes (he did this today several times) me or someone else is walking behind him or around him he will purposely back in to you like a fucking position. There are all these signs but I just don't feel confident that's he's gay ---------- Post added 9th May 2014 at 07:23 PM ---------- He obviously is interested in girls although he has not had a girlfriend and said he does not want a girlfriend we were walking to class to day and He was clearly looking at my crotch and pointed out that I was hard( he clearly looks at me down their a lot) I am just so confused and it's almost taking over my life. I am so obsessed. I dream about us being together and i would be so happy and it makes me depressed thinking about it. I just lev being around him so much, he's amazing physically and as a friend. His face is perfect. All the girls in the school like him and try to flirt with him. We're in every class together this year. I've got to know him so much better. Maybe it's fate that we got put together? I hope it is.
He's clearly gay, mate. The problem is he's also in denial and clearly not yet ready to come out - by the sound of it he would jump at the chance of fooling around etc, so long as none finds out about it - it's high risk for you though if you do go down that route as he could well *out* you to everyone in a fit of post-coital denial.
Thanks. Today when we were talking he wouldn't look me in the eye. I think he kept looking down at my crotch but I'm not sure. He was defiantly looking down
Yesterday we were playing basketball and I was posting up on him. My backside lined up with his crotch, and he started pretending to f**k me. And then after that he said I can imagine (getting f**ked ) feeling good.
I just don't get it. It's driving me crazy. If gaydar is really true then he's gay. He always wants to be close to me and is very touchy. But he talks about girls a lot. I do too, but it makes me feel so bad when he says it. Were perfect for each other same interests all of the same classes I love everything about him so much. And when I imagine living without him I don't see a point in it. If he's not gay I don't see a reason to keep going
Yesturday he came over to my house and slept over. we were having a great time at first and he was doing a lot of his usual gay signs. And then we started f***ing each other with clothes on. And we did it a lot. He liked it. And we both got BONERS. I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure if u have sexual contact with a man, and u get a boner that means your gay. But then everything went downhill. He would reject any signs that tried to give off and called me gay. All he really did was text girls the rest of the time
ok, he is defiantly in-denial dude, i kinda think you should try to talk to him about his feelings and try not fool around with him, think it could only hurt you in the end, only speakng from personal experience though
It sounds like this guy is gay or bi, but is very immature and may not understand fully that he is gay and what that means in terms of how he should behave. He has demonstrated that he cannot really engage you seriously, and is pretty flaky, so he may not be the right person to come out to unless you are willing to come out in general, because he might out you if he starts feeling insecure. This thread has been going along for over a year, and you still are not able to engage him seriously; might be time to move on to someone who acts a bit more consistently and trustworthy, and give this guy some more time to grow up.
I'm considering what you are saying but isn't the ultamite sign that someone is gay and erection when making contact with another man
The ultimate sign that someone is gay is when they have sex with someone of the same sex, and acknowledge that by also saying "I am gay", accepting that their sexual attraction is only to people of the same sex. Young men can get boners pretty easily from thinking about having sex, or seeing pictures of people having sex (gay or straight), and by minor amounts of physical stimulation. They also sometimes initiate playful or actual sex with members of the same sex out of curiosity and experimentation; such contact does not necessarily indicate a gay orientation any more than marrying and having sex with a woman indicates absolutely that you are straight. It sort of goes back to the same old same old, you are gay in orientation when you think you are interested sexually only in people of the same sex that you are. You are gay in behavior when you have sexual relations with people of the same sex. If you do both, then you are pretty much 100% gay.
I love being around him so much and we get along together so well. I don't know if I can go on if he's not gay
You certainly can go on, because whether or not your friend is gay, there are many other people in the world who are gay waiting to meet you and enjoy your company; you just haven't met them yet. Whether or not your friend is gay, he can still be your friend thinking he is straight, because that is what he is acting like now. If you aren't able to think this out logically because of the emotion involved between the two of, then you should find a therapist who specializes in gay issues and work on this problem with him/her.
