Hey guys, I was hoping I could get some advice from you all about a particular situation I'm facing. I've known that I'm gay for as long as I can remember, but for some reason was always too afraid to come out. I've told a few friends (girls) who I knew I could trust, but I've come to the realization in the last few days that I just really don't want to be in the closet anymore, I can't handle the mental toll. I have a plan to tell my family and while that alone is petrifying enough for me, I have no idea how to tell my roomate/best friend. We have known eachother since 8th grade, and have been best friends for three years (since freshman year of college). We live together in a two bedroom apartment at school. He's one of the nicest guys in the world, and is really accepting of everyone. While I'm decently sure he'd be accepting and understanding, I do think it will change things a great deal. I have absolutely no attraction towards him, and never have, but I don't want to force him to feel uncomfortable in his own apartment. My main problem is this: I really want to tell him for many reasons, but in 3 weeks he will go back home for summer and Im staying here in our apartment. I was hoping to tell him and everyone in the next few days, but should I wait to tell him and my friends until he no longer lives with me? The idea of lying to the people I love and living another day like this is agonizing, but I feel horrible springing it on him when he didn't know before we moved in together. My mind is all over the place lately so I hope that was coherent, but I really appreciate any advice you guys could give. Its been a long ass 21 years, I can't pretend anymore.
Welcome to EC! I've never been in this situation before, but if I was in that situation, I would tell them, and then if he was worried that I was attracted to him, I'd make sure that he knew that wasn't the case, I wasn't going to make a pass at him or anything. If you are that good of friends, I'm sure he'll take it well.
What someonelost said, make sure he knows you have no feelings for him beyond those you have for him as your best friend. If it was me, I'd be tempted to tell him before he went home. I just prefer face to face conversations, rather than text/email - but that's just me. And he'll have the summer to get used to the idea.
I think that you should definitely tell him and you don't have any worries since he's already very accepting and friendly. If you want to avoid awkward moments, you should be honest and tell him that you don't have any attraction towards him. Also, you don't have to push yourself on telling everyone at once and just take time to think about it first, incase anyone reacts not the way you think they would. Good luck!
