My dad is extremely homophobic. He thinks being gay or bi is an unhealthy lifestyle. But I think its for the best that i tell him anyway, because at the moment we don't have the best relationship. He doesn't know anything about what im going through. In fact he's threatening to kick me out because i smoke weed and he thinks I'm addicted and I'm getting in with the wrong crowd. the problem is how do i approach this? He's never been one to get into a serious talk, anything important that involves me or my brothers like school fees and stuff, he'll shy away from talking about it. So mum has to pay for everything. To be honest, for this reason i hate my dad with a passion. So that was just a little insight to what my dad is like... so what should i do? I feel like he has to know, I don't care what his reactio is. All I need is for him to just know. any advice on this? :bang:
When I was living at home, me & my Stepdad were at each others throats & he was always threatening to kick me out & challenging me to a fight outside, now that I have left home, our relationship has changed & we get on much better, he has helped me out a lot & we have became good friends. You need to weigh up your situation, what do you think would happen if you told him, would he kick you out, if so where would you go? Does your Mom know you are Gay? If she does, what does she think you should do, could she tell him for you? If he would throw you out & you don't have a plan, then I wouldn't tell him yet, you could try to work on your relationship with him & try to improve this first.
Thanks for the advice my mum does know that im bi and is cool with it. I did kinda fix things up between dad and I but then he found out that I smoke weed....... haven't had a pleasant exchange with him since. So I'm worried that if i tell him he'll think its because of my new school (very progressive artsy school where pretty much everyone's bi) or he'll think its because of weed. for him, "weed is devil, homosexuality is devil" blah blah blah. I'll just have to wait and see. :rolle:
Perhaps lay off the weed first and prove to him you haven't been getting stoned. Sorta like a step by step thing just to mend things up a bit. I know our age group likes to smoke weed but just by simply not smoking, you would be surprised of how much relationships and respect amongst others can change. I'm not sure about the weed laws in the land of koalas but if your friends harass you for quitting then just say you don't want to risk toying with the law or simply that its a personal decision.
I'm in agreement with hkboy93. You need to do something to regain his trust and confidence before you tell him about your sexuality. If you don't, you risk severing your relationship for good. Unfortunately, this won't be a quick process either. It's going to take time for dad to trust you and you have to go out of your way to prove that to him. The good thing is, you've got your mum on your side. So if/when the times comes, I'd make sure she's there for some moral support. Wishing you all the best!
