My work schedule opened up so I am getting ready to make a trip to the East Coast to visit some friends and old coworkers. I originally planned to take the trip last month, but had to get a root canal. Of all the friends I have, I think my old boss is as close as it comes to being the best person to tell first. Him, his wife, and their family are all extremely gay friendly and almost like a second family to me. Getting anxious about it, so I am hoping writing about it here will steel my resolve.
A root canal? That sounds, just awful. I'm only out to two people, but around them I can be myself 100%. There is no lying about my sexuality, and it is a massive relief. The good thing is, if there are any negative reactions from your friends, you can just go back home as it seems you live in different parts of the country. That is worst case scenario. But honestly, do you really thing anything bad will happen? Your old boss is gay friendly and it seems like you guys have a great relationship. I don't know if you plan to tell anyone else, but your old boss seems like a great choice on your trip. On of my friends I told I was really anxious to talk to like you are. I knew full well he wouldn't care. He told me I could tell him anything, and he wouldn't judge me. Afterwords he said he doesn't think less of me and if I need any help from him then to just let him know. He said he'd be there. Being anxious isn't the worst thing, its kind of like being nervous before a test in school. Nerves can be good even if they're annoying. Just put yourself out there and I bet you'll realize you were anxious for nothing, like I was. And seriously, if you get a shit reaction, at least you came out. At least you can leave with your head held high. At least you made the first step. But I think you know deep down this won't be the case. Good luck man, I hope it works out for you.
Congratulations on feeling confident in taking this step! He sounds like the perfect person to come out to. I hope it goes really well and makes you feel good and more free to be yourself. Take a deep breath and have a safe trip! (*hug*)
Thanks. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder so the ramping up of the nerves is something I've expected. I am not at all worried about his/their reaction, but at the same time the anxiety is there. I guess there is a fear of it becoming Pandora's Box in the sense that once that first toe is out, I don't feel I can ever truly go back in. I have a 10 1/2 hour car drive there. Does anyone know of an audio book I can listen to on my way there about coming out that might help inspire me to slip this first toe out of the closet?
Wrll there is one but its about a lesbo ... Sparks: The Epic, Completely Honest (Almost) True Blue Journey of Debbie Or something like that. Anyway, its a lez, but its super good and funny and helped me come out. Good luck!!!
