I need some advice in the worst way possible before I lose my mind. My girlfriend and I have been dating on and off for 7 years. The last time we split was a year ago or so and I told her I was gay. She was crushed but supportive. We stayed close friends and all of that, but there was always a tension. About 2 months ago, after a bad and short relationship with a guy, I messed up and started talking about dating again. I lnow, I'm a terrible person for doing this to her again. But now she seems to think that love can conquer all. I don't know how to tell her it was a moment of weekness and more of a rebound than wanting to spend forever together. It makes me physically ill when I think about what I'm doing to her. She's the perfect woman and doesn't deserve this. Someone please help me.
Damn, thats a difficult situation. Your only solution is to be honest with her, and admit that you shouldn't have gotten back with her. And remember that while she will be distressed to know it isn't going to work out, that you'll be doing the right thing in the long term, allowing her to move on with her life. Good luck.
I agree. Love doesn't conquer all, but authenticity does. You can't control her feelings, and it's important that you look out for yourself as well as for her. So you need to sit her down and say that you love and care for her as a friend, but you'll never be sexually attracted to her or any other woman, and it's really important for your friendship that she accept that. I would suggest not saying anything about questioning or struggling to accept that you're gay (if that's indeed the case) because that will only fan the flames. But I think if you make it clear there's no option and she needs to let go of that idea... hopefully she'll get the hint.
I did the same thing to a girlfriend, who became the wife I am now divorcing. Do it sooner rather than later. It will not be any easier as time goes by. Do it while the old conversation is fresh on your minds!
I'm not going to lie but that is a s**t situation to be in but you really just need to tell her the truth but make it nice but don't make her think you are trying to get her to feel sorry for you as she will think that she has been played. Be really sensitive and just be upfront saying that you don't think it will work because at the time she was what you wanted but over time you have realised that you can't be with a woman. Please just be really nice about it because its her heart that will be played with (not trying to make you feel bad) I wish you the best and remember we are all here for you x
First, do you need to tell her you're gay? Does it matter -- sounds like the relationship isn't going to last regardless? Reality is, if you say you're gay, then the ending of the relationship is all on you. If there is sh*t on both sides that is the cause of the relationship, then think about it. I do think at some point, after 7 years with her, you probably should tell her that you're gay - but maybe not for a while. It will bring up all sorts of guilt, self confidence issues for her, plus she's going to wonder if you were having sex with men and is she safe. In hindsight, I did tell my GF -- and I'm not sure I'd do it again. I think it made it much harder for her, because she thinks she failed, she thinks I somehow pretended (and I didn't, I loved her deeply), and she got downright paranoid about me cheating on her. The relationship is ending. You don't have kids or anything to tire you together for years to come. There is much to be said about ending it, then you starting your own life on your terms. Your mileage may vary
I hate to say it, but I think the only way you'll be able to get through this is if you bite the bullet and just tell her... and while you're at it, if you think that anything like this has even the slightest chance of happening again, just let her know that if in future if it happens again, it's just an insecurity/emotional reaction and not actually something that you'll mean. - And if later on you maybe realize that you are in fact bi, and would like to start up a relationship with her again, then deal with the consequences later on. :arrow: I'm only saying this to cover all bases, not because I'm implying it to be true. I hope this helps and good luck~ (*hug*)
