Hi all, I just wanted to talk a little about myself and let everyone know what brought me to this point in my life. I grew up in the Bible Belt and church and religion were a huge part of my life. My family and I went to church three times a week and we were involved heavily with it. I participated in every church event you can think of and probably most you haven't. Part of growing up in this area and in that type of church was the blatant judgment. There were always signs of racism, sexism, and of course, good ole homophobia. I can't even begin to count the number of anti-gay statements and vitriol that came from those people. I realized during puberty I was interested in guys. For a long time I was very closeted, but began to open up around the age of 15 or so. The miniscule number of friends I trusted to tell were all accepting of me. This led to my parents finding me out before I was ready to come out not too long after. They confronted me, yelled at me, told me I was "choosing this lifestyle" and eventually shipped me off to a church group that prayed the gay out of me. I denied being gay for a long time after that and even had a string of girlfriends to get my family and the church people back on my side. I was even briefly "engaged" to a girl for about three months during college when this stuff was still going on. Finally, FINALLY, I took control of my life back. I ended the relationship, I moved a few hundred miles away, and made a new group of friends. Things aren't totally okay, as I'm dealing with two toxic friends right now, but it's a slow improvement.
Wow, sounds like a tough situation. I, too, grew up in a very religious family and am still to this day a very strong Catholic. I don't think that's ever going to change. I think it really comes down to whether or not people love who you are or who they think you are (or should be). You didn't mention what your religious situation is at this point but I'll just say this. God made you exactly the way He wanted to make you. Don't let people tell you that you 'chose this lifestyle'. The best you can do is be thankful for that and try to spend every day living that out. I hope things work out for you. Just know that EC is a very good community and we're here to help.
I feel for you... I grew up in a NON-religeous family ... but even so it was still a difficult process. You have to "find yourself/ like yourself and stand up for yourself..." hope you will use EC as part of the process
Hey, good for you, though, getting your life back on track. Welcome! I also came from a very religious family. I was damaged by a lot of the things I heard said about gay people. My mom made me read a few James Dobson books (I refuse to call him a doctor), and I sincerely wish she hadn't. It was a relief to find out that gay people aren't the horrible monsters he made us out to be.
Good for you for taking control. I grew up in the bible belt as well...bible school, bible camp, youth lock-ins, cantatas, weekly fellowship, ermergerd I've done it all! Like Eliza, I was severely damaged by some of the things I heard about the being LGBT. Most of them came from my own mother. I applaud you for taking your life back into your own hands.
I'm glad you're taking control of your life. Even slowly improving is still moving in the right direction. :icon_bigg
Thanks, everyone. After I finished college I moved out of state for a job and live in a more progressive area with a sizable 20-30-something population, so the homophobia thing just isn't here. I mean, it is a little, but it's NOTHING like back home with the all the small churches and small-minded people. I'm still slowly recovering, but things are a lot better. I accept myself, my new friends accept me, and when the time comes I will begin to reattach myself to my family. One thing about us southerners is we do value our family.
Wow that sounds bad :O Well I'm happy that you have got away from that negative area and have gotten back on track with who you are
