Scared, confused, and excited...

Hey all,
So I'm wanting to come out as bi to my best friend, but the idea of it totally freaks me out :eek:, but at the same time just thinking of it gives me an undeniable sense of relief and happiness!

It's only been within the last week that I've realized that I am actually bi (due to an insane amount of denial, and self-guilt - as I was raised as an anti-LGBT religion, even though I've always thought that love is love, no matter what genitalia is involved!), and honestly I'm still coming to terms with this wonderful fact! :icon_bigg

I feel like I desperately need to tell my best friend, who at this time I think is the only person I'd feel comfortable talking to, in any kind of detail about all of this. (My dad knows, but I just feel awkward talking to him about this stuff, even though he's said that he's completely supportive. - He doesn't mean to, but with trying to understand all of this, he keeps unintentionally saying stuff that makes my denial and self-guilt flare right back up, so I end up second-guessing myself all of the time, which is REALLY stressful and annoying! :bang

Anyway with the feelings of relief, confusion, fear, etc, running through my system sporadically, I also feel like I'm not ready to tell her, but I think that is more due to how I was raised, rather than how I actually feel... and I'm still feeling the denial and self-guilt, even though deep down I know that I'm without a doubt bi.

I know for a fact that she's supportive of LGBT, as not only does she have a gay friend, but she's the one who helped him realize it. - But unlike her friend, I'm not one of those people who are obviously LGBT... and my friend has a pretty good gaydar, and even though this is no reason to be scared of telling her, I just have no idea how she'll take it. Especially due to my SEVERE denial, and the fact that when I was younger I wouldn't let myself be anything but repulsed by the idea of not being straight. (Seriously, I remember when I was in primary school and I was first attracted to a woman, telling myself that I wasn't allowed to be this way and that it was EVIL, and that I was never going to let myself feel this way again, which is why the denial ended up being so deep... as I didn't even let the idea of being attracted to girls enter my head!)
Anyway I've since started learning how to be more accepting and loving of myself, and since then, my attraction to women has more often and more strongly come back. :icon_wink

So I guess, I'm just wondering how do you think I should approach telling my friend? Should I just come right out and say it, or build up to it (though I have no idea what I'd say!), or what? And even though deep down I know this is right, do you think I should wait a bit before telling her, so that my emotions are more calmed (which would be good), or do you think I should just tell her asap anyway (which I feel would actually help with me getting my emotions to a calmer place, as I wouldn't keep thinking about it all of the time). All of this is just so confusing!!!

 

Thanks, I'll do that! =)
Lol my friend already thinks I've got a terminal condition though; stupidity. And sadly she's right! ;-P