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Help! Coming out to family with chaotic problems.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Asari, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. Asari

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So my family is very dysfunctional. my older siblings both have severe mental disorders (my brother is schizophrenic and my sister is bipolar). My sister is going through a manic episode right now and ran away from her family. She has two sons and a husband. Last time she ran off she was doing bath salts. My younger sister just had knee surgery and just got diagnosed with a incurable std. My parents are blaming it on her having sex before marriage. My family is very conservative. I was in ministry for a year and very involved in my church until I decided to come out to my friends and left the ministry.

    Now my parents have always praised me for being their only good kid. I just told my mom that I dropped out this semester from school because of depression and she got really upset. Even though the school will not penalize me and I may even get refunded. I didn't mention that I was depressed because of losing a lot of my friends because of coming out to them. My mom knows I am gay because my sister outed me to her but I haven't come out to my mom or dad. I am sick of being in the closet especially because I'm sure my parents know. I am really worried that my parents are going to cut me off financially (they are helping me pay rent) because my mom hinted at it. She told me she can't handle paying my bills anymore. But i am really struggling as a student right now. I am trying to get a part time job and continue to take classes but it is very stressful. My dad also texted me and said "we have a lot to talk about." What can I do?

    I have been waiting for months for my family situation to become less chaotic but the longer I wait the worse it seems to get. My family is always like this so I don't think "waiting it out" will make anything less stressful.
     
    #1 Asari, Apr 21, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2013
  2. stumble along

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    There never is really a good time to come out to people, sometimes you just have to do it when you feel like you have to do it. I don't know what to do with your situation because my dad was somewhat accepting and he isnt going to cut me off, but i havent told my mom.

    If i were you i would maybe start coming up with a letter to try and get some of those feelings of coming out down and hopefully you will get a job by then and then you can send the letter.

    But honestly you're still going to be the good kid out of the family, this shouldnt be a horrible thing, never think that about yourself no matter what your parents say.

    Keelah se'lai