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Should I come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Neoteric, Apr 21, 2013.

?

Should I?

  1. Yes

    12 vote(s)
    75.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. I don't know...

    4 vote(s)
    25.0%
  1. Neoteric

    Neoteric Guest

    I feel like alot of people will assume that being "bisexual" either means that I am too afraid to say I;m gay or I'm straight and just going through a rebelious phase...
    I have been wanting to recently but I feel like no one will believe me...
     
  2. Hefiel

    Full Member

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    If you're afraid of Bi not being taken seriously, I suppose you could go with Pan (although Pan implies that your preference goes beyond the gender binary).

    How does your surrounding (family and friends) perceive homosexuality? Given that bisexuality implies a certain level of same-sex attraction that may differ based on the individual (I don't know about you in particular), their stance on homosexuality is something to consider before coming out.

    As for whether or not you should come out, the choice is ultimately up to you. If you feel ready, and think that your surrounding will take it well (especially the family), then go ahead. Otherwise you might want to wait a little longer until you are more independent to move on your own (given that you are only 16). The choice is ultimately up to you, and you shouldn't feel "forced" to come out if you're not comfortable with it.
     
  3. RedLight

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    Unfortunately we live in a world where people will sooner accept the return of a man two thousand years dead (speaking from the stand point of a Christian) than the fact that homosexuality is a normal part of life. So when people hear "Bisexual" they automatically assume the person has to be in denial, or simply going through a phase, because so many homosexuals (yself included) Have used bisexuality as a way to transition into the homosexual world, without being forced to label themselves.

    At the end of the day I can't say if you should come out or not, just because I'm not really aware of my surroundings. But I will say that when you reach that point where you're comfortable enough with yourself, you'll know you're ready to, not step out, but do a back flip into a handstand out of the closet. And then you'll know it's your time to say it.
     
  4. RainbowMan

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    I haven't responded to the poll, because I think that basing whether to come out based on polling anonymous people on the Internet is foolhardy to say the least.

    As for not being taken seriously, I don't think that you have to worry about that. Anyone that cares will take what you say seriously. I think that it would help, but is certainly not required, that you've had a same-sex experience (or at least crush) with/on a guy. In the end, you know who you are better than anyone else, and no people on the Internet should dictate your decision whether to come out or not.
     
  5. Eliza

    Eliza Guest

    I voted yes. Historically, LGBT people started coming out in part as a political act, to show straight people that we exist, that we are people they love, and that our needs matter.

    The fact that people don't take bisexuals seriously doesn't mean you shouldn't come out as bisexual-- actually, I think it means the opposite. I'm just saying this because you asked for opinions; it's up to you, of course.
     
  6. SimpleMan

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    If you are already out to a few people, just slowly start casting the net wider among the people you want to tell. Word will spread eventually. Anyone friend who believes you would lie to them about something like this is probably not a very good friend. The good ones will stay by your side. As always, only do it if you think your personal safety is not in question.
     
  7. Music Madness

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    First of all does it really matter what anyone else thinks? - I mean sure, they'll judge you (but everyone judges everyone else... so don't start getting stressed out about this, as it's just human nature!- And lets face it, you probably judge them too!), but will it REALLY affect how you live, and more importantly WHO YOU ARE?! ~ You are always going to be you no matter what happens, and even if eventually decades later you realize that maybe it was just a phase (I'm NOT saying that it is, I'm just talking hypothetically), I'm sure you'll realize that it was a phase you NEEDED to go through, so that you could figure out every aspect of your wonderful self! :slight_smile:

    Believe me I know how scary it is thinking and feeling this way (as I am bi too), and I know I talk big and tough, but inside I'm just as scared as you! :icon_sad: But in the end you just have to be yourself and remember that you are what you are, and as with everyone and everything in life not everyone is going to like or agree with who you are, or what you say and do... so it's better to live happy being true to yourself, than caring about what anyone else says or thinks! - And if they end up saying that they don't like something about you (whether it's your sexualtiy or something else), tell them what you don't like about them (but do it in a self-confident, I don't care what you think kind of way), because not only is it true but you'll find that they will back off (because they can't emotionally bully you), and your self confidence will grow! :grin:

    Anyway, I hope this helps and good luck!(*hug*)
     
  8. Sayu

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    I picked "yes", because the fear that people won't believe you is not that bad as the fear of being rejected (at least in my opinion). If you are surrounded with people who you know will be accepting of your sexuality, then go ahead and tell them! :slight_smile:
     
  9. Argentwing

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    If your only concern is that people think "bi" is only a stepping stone, than I think you can safely come out. Screw their wild off-the-wall supposition; you are who you are, whether or not they think you're telling the whole truth. The joke's on them for waiting their entire life for your second "real" coming out as gay that never happens. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  10. Maddix

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    I have some of the same fears you do so I can share your feelings in this situation. I am a lesbian. No questions about it. I have only told one person and that didn't go so well. Anyway, because I am young I'm afraid people wont take me seriously and believe me when I tell them my..preferences. I despise when people don't take me seriously so I am considering waiting a couple years to tell EVERYONE when I am at a more believable age. A lot of girls my age say they're lesbian of bi for attention. I just want to be taken seriously. But my advice to you would be to do what you think will be best for YOU! Is coming out right now what you WANT? If it is, go for it. If not, wait a little. Once again, DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU