1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

And so the fear commences

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RedLight, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    It's a thursday; it's still sunny out at 7:16 and that's pretty nice. I'm sick, so that's not so great, and my cousin just came out to me as Bisexual. So it would seem as though she's done the heavy lifting for me; if my family knows about her, maybe I'll know who I can talk to and who I can't talk to. Who I can trust to be understanding and who I can't.

    But the thing is I'm not sure if I believe her or not. It's not a question of wherther I believe her becuase she's Bisexual and not Gay, I know and firmly believe that it's okay to like people of both sexes. the reason I don't believe her is because she's prone to do things like this, and then just come out and say it's a joke. On the other hand she could say it's a joke because of the responses she gets, and because she's scared. I wish I could tell her it's alright. I wish I could just fly her to New York and show her that not everyone is an asshat about this, and that there are loving and accepting people in this world who ecognize that this is perfectly natural and okay, I wish I could tell her one of those people is me, and that I know she's normal, and that I am too even if I do like girls.

    I would LOVE to show her the Gay Pride parade every year, and have fun and jump up and down screaming "I'm Gay Bitches!" or "I'm Bisexual Bitches!" And know that we don't have to live our lives in this horrible little bubble where if you don't fit into the heterosexual margin you're automatically bad, and should change. I'm delving way too much into this, but this is something that was, is and always will be an important part of my life that I am passionate about. (&&&)

    However this brings about another question. How do I help her, if I don't trust her? How do I tell her, when I'm not sure how she'll react to me? How do I keep her from getting hurt when she's a thousand miles away? :help:
     
  2. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    Okay...no one bothered to point out that it's Sunday.
     
  3. RainbowMan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Yes, it's Sunday. And it was a bit cold today here, so I understand why you're sick - I just want a normal spring, but I fear that's not to happen, and we'll go straight from this into sweltering heat - ahh, but you didn't post about our lovely NYC weather :grin:

    Anyhow, I assume that you're here for college. I would come out to your sister in confidence, if you can trust her not to tell anyone (which has nothing to do with trusting whether or not she is in fact bi), because it at least seems that if she would even joke about something like this, she'd be accepting.

    It can be difficult when you're separated by thousands of miles from people (I have no family here in NYC, which is a good and bad thing)
     
  4. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    I guess so. I think we'll just move straight into 100 degree weather, which is going to be a problem for those of us who aren't cold blooded. P.S I'm not here for college, I'm actually finishing high school here.

    I think my fear is that I don't want to have to go through the process of coming out only to be baggered with a hundred and one questions from people I haven't seen in over three years. You'd think she would be accepting wouldn't you? I'm not so sure.
     
  5. RainbowMan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Isn't the being badgered with 101 questions what you want when you come out? I'm no expert, but I think that if they're willing to ask you questions, that means that they care. Of course, this assumes that the questions aren't exceptionally prying.

    Why aren't you so sure she'd be accepting? If she has, even falsely, come out as bi, I think that means that she'd be accepting of someone who is LGBT. Of course, I don't know the entire dynamic at play here, so I can't offer concrete advice.
     
  6. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    I figured you'd say that. Darn it, can't you just use your rainbow power to figure out the whole story? Otherwise, what's the point of calling yourself RainbowMan?

    Anyway, I will NOT tell you the whole story because it's too ridiculously long, and I have to be on a plane in two months. BUT I will say this, she seems pretty damn sure of herself. Now I think I just have to figure out a way to come out to her as L...even though she's B...it's more complicated than it sounds. :icon_conf
     
  7. wrhla

    wrhla Guest

    If she were to turn around and say it was a joke, it would really be too late. Everyone would assume (rightly) that she got cold feet. She's out now, whether she likes it or not.
     
  8. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    You're certainly right about that, although considering my family's values and beliefs, I'm inclined to say they would want to believe it's a joke more than anything.