Hey guys, I'm new to this site, and I'm not really trying to explain my life story in detail, but I thought I would post at least one thing on here. I am gay, and only have really started facing it since the beginning of this year. The only person I have come out to is a girl that I have been consistently hooking up with for awhile. Everytime she wanted to have sex, I always had some sort of excuse. Anyway, I eventually felt bad, and told her last weekend. She was shocked and cried a little bit, but mostly happy that I told her. It felt good to say that I wasn't rejecting her this whole time, but just legitimately not attracted to females in general. To give some background, I'm not a flamboyant guy, and I have always had a group of straight friends that I hang out with. I'm struggling at this point because though it felt good to tell this girl that I am gay, it made the whole situation pretty real. I'm starting to think how awkward it could be when I come out to my friends and roommates. I don't want them thinking I'm into them, cause I really am not. I have trouble believing they will understand that.
I have the exact same problem with my friends, all of them are straight (as far as I know). We always mess around and say stupid things to eachother that we don't really mean and I'm afraid that if they come out they will think all the stupid comments are genuine. Glad I'm not the only one feeling this way.
I think it depends on how open minded your friends are. I told my roommate that I'm bi and she is really cool with it. We joke around about it and everything is fine. We didn't know each other at all 9 months ago, and now we're best friends. If you want to tell your friends tell them. In my opinion, if they can't accept you for who you are they aren't really your friends and don't deserve to be. I realize this sounds a little hypocritical coming from someone who is barely out, but no one in my hometown is very open minded and the people who need to know will, soon enough. So, in my experience, coming out made my life easier and my roommate doesn't care either way. I hope this helps! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
I have a beard, wear the same pants and hockey tshirts everyday, very far from flamboyant. Came out recently to three of my friends. None of them care, and I've been able to open up about everything in my life and have made myself very vulnerable. Best decision I've made in a while. My one friend I told everything. All of my doubts and fears about being gay/coming out. It's been a huge relief. Start small. Pick a buddy, say whats on your mind and be yourself. One of my friends literally thanked me for telling him, as if it was a privileged. Look up a TedTalk about vulnerability and shame. In it they make a great point: when someone becomes vulnerable those around them usually see whatever it is they are doing as an act of courage. You may feel embarrassed or shame, but others might see it as bravery. I don't know your friends, where you live or how old you are, but I hope I said something that might make an impact for you. It'll be awkward at first, and then a relief. You'll gain your friends trust, and they'll respect you for it. At least in my circumstance. Good luck though, I hope it works out man.
The same thing is happening to me I have only told one girl that I know and she also started crying herself but she was happy I had told her I felt like I should've told her cause I felt lonely and needed to talk to someone about it I felt a lot better after I did but I don't know if I should tell my other friends anytime soon yeah I'm not flamboyant either and I just joined this site this is my first post actually
