So I was planning on coming out to my cousins (one of which is one of my best friends) a little later, due to the fact that they are religiously anti-LGBT, but it turns out that I'll be seeing them waaaayyyy before I even get a chance to talk to my other best friend (who is pro-LGBT, and much easier to talk to about this kind of stuff), who is so busy working/studying that I'm usually lucky if I get to see her once a month, let alone once a week!... And because this is such an important topic in my life, I don't want to break it to her over a text or phone call or whatever! Anyway I think I know how my cousin T is going to react (I'm pretty sure that she'll either think I'm joking :roflmao:, have a full-blown WTF session , or just be in so much shock that she won't know what to say :eek:, or possibly even revulsion :eusa_sick... Possibly all 4! Oh, and she'll DEFINITELY start talking to me about god, and how it's wrong! :tantrum: Which I have absolutely ZERO interest in hearing!!! :eusa_hand), but with my cousin M I have no idea... she's really quiet and not anti-social, but shy... so even though I've known her for forever, I don't actually know much about what goes on in her head let alone much of the other stuff in her life. But in saying that though, I know for a fact that even though she doesn't express them out loud very often, she has very strong opinions about things... one of which I'm sure will be her being anti-LGBT, as T and M are sisters! In some ways I think it would be a good idea if I waited, because out of everyone I know, T (and therefore M, as I usually hang out with them both at the same time) is the one that I'm the MOST scared of telling, and they'll probably end up telling the rest of their family (which will be okay, but f:***:ing frustrating as their mum is anal-retentively anti-LGBT, and even on a good day her general attitude can piss you off very easily! (And that's not just me saying that... it's a well known fact! In saying that I still love her; it's just she is one of those people who are permanently testing your patience! :bang... And not only that, but I hate the idea that their whole family will (undoubtedly) be negatively gossiping about me behind my back! - And then there's the issue of how their brother's will react to the situation... And I know her dad will disapprove, but he's a bit like M and will probably keep his mouth shut), but then again this is undoubtedly going to happen anyway (because let's face it; they're gonna find out eventually!), so why make a big deal out of it before it's even happened? Right? ... I say that, but then the more I think about it, the more flawed I think that thought really is! (I always used to wonder why people were so scared of telling those they love/know of their sexuality, because in the end it doesn't really matter what they think! They are still beautiful all the same! And no amount of disapproval from anyone else is ever going to change that!!! - Usually I'm a very confident and person, but now I'm really beginning to understand why they feel this way! ) When I first started writing this I was like (!) "I'm gonna tell them, and I don't care what they think, but I'll just get some advice just in case something goes wrong, and that way I can prepare for the worst case scenario!" (!) - And now I'm like :tears: "They are going to reject me, they'll hate me, T will stop looking up to me as her role model and should-have-been-big sister, and I'll end up losing even more of my family! (it's complicated)... I'm just trying to be happy and accept myself for who I am! What's so wrong with that???!!!" :tears: I know that I am a strong and confident woman, and I know that I'll probably end up telling them no matter what T, M, and the rest of their family think, because that's just the way I am! - I don't let my fears stop me from doing what's right! But I am so nervous and scared right now! Especially considering that I'm not doing anything until I see them, and I don't have the $$$ to go out (I'm saving it for when I see them), so I'm just going to be non-stop thinking about it! :goodevil: *sighs* And then of course I think, well maybe I should just give it a bit more time anyway, and wait to talk to my other best friend when she's got some free time... but knowing me both the act of stalling and waiting until I can talk to her will drive me even more CRAZY!!! :bang: What do you guys think? Any advice or suggestions? *Is hopeful* :redface: It is seriously ridiculous how scary this is! - Society needs a big f:***:ing wakeup call about how normal it is to be LGBT, and to just get over all of their f:***:ing ridiculous homophobia!!! :tantrum:
Well, coming from someone who is going through the same fear, not only of telling my cousins but my sisters and the rest of my Dominican family who is unbelievably homophobic to no end; here's some simple advice. Stay calm: if you can't breathe you can't speak. Be confident: remember that this IS who you are no matter what other people think, and if you can't stand up for yourself and be sure of who you are, no one else can be. And this one is just from my general understanding Patience is Virtue: remember that the people around you need as much time to understand you and accept you as you did. So if you don't get the reaction you wanted at first, give them time, and give yourself time.take some "me" time to reflect on who you are. That way when they're ready to discuss this and ask you questions (as is innevitable unfortunately) you'll be ready. Being out and proud takes a few tries, just think of this as your biggest stepping stone, and everything from here on will become slightly easier as you move along in life. ~I hope I helped, feel better~
Thank you so much, this really helped!... Not just all of your wise words, but also just the knowledge that there is someone out there who is going through the same thing as me. If you ever need anyone to talk to about all of this, I'm more than willing to give a friendly ear and/or some (hopefully) helpful advice. (*hug*) Thanks again for your help! (*hug*) P.S - I love your avatar! - I'm a Doctor Who fan too!
AWESOME!The Fandom grows everyday, I love it! I'm glad I could help, a little relieved too. To be honest when I first posted I thought you'd be extremely bored by my advice, or that you might already know or have heard all of this. I love your avatar as well, and if you ever need a friendly ear to listen up, I'm here for ya. After all us whovians have to stick together
Lol, yeah we do... 'cause you never know when the Doctor will be knocking at your door, waving his sonic screwdriver around mumbling about wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff! :icon_wink (Seriously, I would die from an extreme attack of AWESOME if that ever happened... Wouldn't you just love to be the Doctor's companion, and visit all of those awesome places and times?! - The only problem would be that every 5 seconds you'd be running for your life from some crazed alien or monster, lol! :lol
