Mom didn't seem very happy listening to an 'if' situation

You're right, you're going to have to come out sooner or later. Just do it when you feel ready, and they'll eventually learn to accept it. If not, that's not your fault, but you shouldn't hide who you are just to please others.

Spoken from a true hypocrite I suppose, considering I'm still in the closet D:

 

I don't know you.
But I want you to come out.
I don't want you to hide to please other people.
On a more rational note, if you find coming out would be unbearable at this moment, then take some time to think. Maybe do it slowly.
Just know you are wonderful no matter what they say or do.

Rabbit.

 

kinda of sounds like it might be something shed been thinking about if, surely if she was sure u where straight she would have just laughed your question off.
I personally have a tick list of things I want to have accomplished before coming out to my dad they include things like having supportive friends which I do , being finically idependent and not worried that rejection would make me loose it. If your mum did reject you to start with how hard would you take it ? are your friends like your family anyone or is she like your rock ? do you live at home or you can you accept back to university or own house if things get akwards ? do you rely on her for money at all and If so is there a slight chance at all that she would cut that off ? Those are just some things I have thought about in relation to when I should come out to my family

 

These reactions are why people live a double life and fwd years later to say btw, I'm gay. I'm so sorry it is this hard for you to have such a challenge in telling your parents. Times have changed and seriously, you have to live with your choices not them. AND! ITS NOT EVEN A CHOICE! If I could choose not to torment myself with this I would settle for straight, life would be easier due to society, family, friends, etc.

No, If you were mine and if mine do come to me I would tell them I love them regardless of who they are inside and will accept thier choice in partners be it straight or gay. As long as they treat you well and don't abuse you I will treat them as my own. This is what your parents should be saying to you, and that they love you regardless, this stuff should not matter. Frankly, it really isn't even any of thier business anyway and should feel honored you want to share this with them. I'm sorry, I get so charged due to the life I have led hiding who I am to please others. This should not be an issue for anyone anymore, ever! I don't know you but I support you. Hope it works out for you. If I could push back time, I would just tell them, they will have to accept it eventually. If not, that is their problem not yours and thier loss if they are going to be heartless about it.

 

^ I completely agree. I've never understood why people use the "what if..." scenario. You may as well drape yourself in a rainbow flag and run through the streets screaming "I'm gay"

As you said, you will have to come out sooner or later, but that doesn't have to be now if you're not ready. Other people may not be too happy about it at first, but given time they should come round. At some point everything will kind of align and you will know that it is the right time to come out.

 

I have had conversations with my mom like that but I am a little more sneaky about it.(Don't think bad of me).

I try to bring up a usually made up rumor like "Oh, Did you hear? Randy Moss was caught holding hands with another dude in California. Its on the internet." My mom would say something along the lines of "What are you going to do now?. You don't want people thinking you are a f@g. Do ya?". I respond like "The guy might be gay and I don't care about that". Mom changes the subject very very quick.

I have also had the "So, what if I was like him?" talks with mom. She responds but "you are not." with a stern look of "No son of mine is gay".

Honestly, I feel your pain. I am approaching 30 in a few years and its almost obvious. Very few past girlfriends, no kids, no marriages, and the typical hetero-norm stuff. The burden is on me since I am an only child. I have also got the "how would others react" B.S. too. Not too sound selfish but I have cared for others all my life but now its time for me to be happy. If they react badly then fine. I know where they stand and I dont need them in my life. If they react positive then that would be awesome and I can finally take off the mask.

PS. No harm or ill will meant to Mr.Moss. It could be any celebrity you want to use. The only reason I used Randy is because anybody that knows me knows I am a HUGE fan of his and would probably drop dead if I found out I was even in the same town as him. LOL.

 

I've been deliberately trying to do the same and I'm pretty sure that my parents must at least suspect with all the hints I've been dropping over the last year. I'm not quite ready to push the point too much though but my hope is kind of that it gives them time to accept it.

Try not to worry too much about your dad and others that your mum mentioned. Easy for me to say when I'm not out to my parents but I've found from telling others that there's no way you can predict exactly how they'll react. Might be that your mum assumes they'll have a negative reaction but they could actually be just fine.