Why is it, that people who you want to be your friend fancy the pants off you, and people that you love just want to be friends? WHY CAN'T IT BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND? Someone actually likes me, I found out today after someone let slip to me what Person #1 had told them. But to me, I just see Person #1 as a friend, and because of that, I now feel terrible. I feel bad because she can't say it to me, I feel bad because I can't reciprocate what she wants. What makes this even worse is that Person #1 will probably be the only chance of a relationship, but I don't want to force something just out of pity or the need for a relationship. I see her as a friend, and I feel bad for the fact I don't feel the same way back, but forcing something out of it can't end well in the long run, right? Graah! And if it wasn't bad enough I have feelings for someone else (person #2) , which I know can't take off, and so I feel even more tempted to just do it to be in a relationship with Person #1. But I know how I feel about person #1 , and I know it is nothing more than friendship. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO GODDAMN COMPLICATED? :bang:
I agree - it's so annoying!! It's happened to me so many times that I'm surprised that two people ever manage to get together! And it's really bad when you get a whole circle people, where A likes B who likes C who likes D who likes A (trust me, I've been in one of those). It's all very Midsummer Nights Dream-esque!! Hope it somehow sorts itself out for you though....and don't feel too guilty about the girl who likes you - people always get over these things, eventually!
It works this way for me: People I want to be only friends with me, they're only my friends, yay. But people I want to have something else with, are JUST MY FECKING FRIENDS!!!!! ><
Gah! I feel your pain so much!!! :bang: I guess that's just how life is. The more negative things we experience, the more we can appreciate the positive things.
the answer is simple: god has a cruel sense of humor.......anyway....just keep your hopes up about your friends and tell them "NO"
Aw man that sucks. I can sorta relate, I fell for the girl with a boyfriend...but my feelings have faded quite a lot cos it's a long time since I last saw her. Then there's a girl who I see only as a friend but the other night she seemed to have rather *different* ideas. It was a nightmare trying to keep her at a safe level. (HlnD if you read this, you know which night I'm referring to, and I know she probably meant nothing by it but it seriously spooked me!!) Definitely don't go with person #1 if you don't have feelings for them. And don't try to blame yourself for hurting them - you can't help it that they're attracted to you. It's a pity that you can't take off with person#2, but sometimes that's just the way life is.
I can't find the name of the philosopher who wrote Love is desire. Basically what he was saying is that we love what we desire (desire being the state where we want something that we can't/don't have). We do everything we can to obtain the object of our desires and once you get what you want you no longer desire it because you have it... which is why relationships often flounder after a few years or one or other of the partners ends up being unfaithfull. This is an subconscious state which we don't control but we can try to understand and look to why we desire someone we can't have and don't desire what you could have. People often say that attraction is something that we can't control maybe, maybe not but one thing is sure, our subconsious can make some people more attractive to us than others. Just like the anorexic who is no more than a sack of bones sees a fat person looking back at her in the mirror, our subconsious plays tricks with our minds and our perception of the world and people around us. This may not help you much but can you define in what way the person of your desires is more attractive to you that the person who already likes you? Is there a little demon in you stopping you from finding available people and rejecting people who are attracted to you? This state of 'crushes' or unrequited love is common to us all, straight or gay. You might want to do some serious thinking about what a relationship means to you, if you are really ready for one and what... if anything scares you about entering into a relationship.
Heatqueen, YES. I know exactly what you mean, and this is why I can relate to what this thread's about...sort of. In my case, it's sort of one sided; people who I fancy either don't like me at all, or just want to be my friend. Nobody who I want to keep as a friend fancies me, in fact, nobody I know of fancies me. I wouldn't go into a relationship with Person 1, if you see her as a friend you'll regret it forever if the relationship ended badly, and you lose her friendship as well as her. And remember, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, we don't need to tie ourselves down in to relationships just yet, take risks! So, what I suggest is, try and find a way around whatever reason why you can't be with person 2. Sorry if that's little help to you, but I'm thoroughly inexperienced. Good luck, hope this all gets sorted!
Because then there wouldn't be anything special about it. Stumbling through the maze of "I love him but he doesn't love me" stuff makes finding the one who actually loves you back that much more special. Lex
