so for my english class i have a project due in a while, and part of the assignment is an essay. there are two choices but the one i want to do is another part of the assignment is that i have to show it to a family member. i don't want to show my parents because i dont think they'd let me turn it in since it will talk about my sexuality. so what i was wondering is if i should try e-mailing it to one of my sisters as a way of coming out to them. does this sound like a good idea or doomed to fail? If you think it's a good idea i could also try to post it on here.
I think it's a great idea. I kinda sealed the deal by coming out that way, I had to write a 10 page government paper and I wrote it on the histroy of gay rights and said alot about my sexuality. Not to mention in 9th grade I gave a speech twice in two different classes about gay rights. I think it's a good idea and I encourage you to go with it (not to mention I'm envious that you get to write an essay about yourself... Don't get those too much anymore...) So if you're fine with it, totally go for it! Heh I guess I shouldn't say FINE, but if you're OKAY with it ^^ lols
I have a friend who came out via English essay! It's a good way in my opinion. I would just be so scared to read it out loud!
It is crazy you posted this, I was thinking about doing this earlier today. We had a writing EOI for my English class, and the prompt gave the possibility for me to write my acceptance of being gay. I didn't do it of course, but I did think about it for awhile (and considered posting it here on EC, LOL) I think it's a great idea though, you should do it. And then post it on here so we can read it! ^__^
ok, thank you all for your support, i'll try to post the paper on here when i'm done, now i'm trying to decide how detailed i should get with the paper.
Overall, I like the idea. This is something that matters to you, and you'll probably do a better job than you would with other topics. A couple of words of warning. First, you might think about cushioning the blow a bit with your sister. Even if she's 100% gay friendly, it would be a shock learning this the first time in an essay. So this might be the time to have the "there's something I think I should tell you..." talk. Secondly, there is also a chance that you might come out of the closet with everyone at school, assuming you aren't that way already. This depends on what happens to the essay. If it gets read anonymously by the teacher, that's one thing. If, on the other hand, it gets read out to the class, with your name attached, that's another. In high school, all my teachers used approach #1, and if they read something off, it was always anonymous. On the other hand, a college writing teacher always used approach #2. Actually, he had us read our own paper off, and then sit there with a glazed happy smile as everyone else critiqued it....
The idea is great, but be carefull while writing, be sure you are confortable with what you have written so there would be no regrets. But since you are showing it to a family member, it will be a nice and easy way to start coming out to the ones close to you.
Finally, I admire you taking this topic on, even though your parents wouldn't like it! I was in this position one time, and I hate to admit it, but I caved in. It wasn't sexual orientation, but would have writing about my family falling apart. My mom said I could use that topic if I wanted, but it was pretty clear she'd be much happier if I avoided it. I think she'd have said no, period if she'd known that the teacher insisted on our papers getting read out loud in class. As a result, the paper I wrote at the most logical time to use that topic ended up...less than satisfactory. I cannot read anything I wrote for that class without cringing now--I was a terrible writer--but that paper in particular was beyond bad.
I dont think the teacher will read the papers aloud or have us do so, and for my sister i guess it could be a little bit of a shock, though she has implied before that she wasn't sure i was straight and would be ok with it, so i guess i'll call and tell her before i send the paper. and im not sure if i should go into details about how my parents reacted (sending me to talk to the pastor at family ties) or if i should leave that part out?
I think including how they reacted might be a good idea. It would help with the narrative, and it's relevant, unless you feel it might be damaging. I came out to every teacher at my school with an essay I submitted to win a scholarship, and it ended up working well. I think, especially if the paper is particularly emotional, that this is a good method, and if you feel that the essay will be worth writing, go ahead and do it.
I think you can make an argument for and against including the talk with the pastor. What is your gut feeling? One problem I see: according to your original post, you are limited to 2 pages or less. I assume that's 2 pages, word processed, double spaced. That's not a lot of space for a story of this overall size. So you have to pick and choose. The story of going to the pastor could, I think, make a strong essay on its own. Alone, it would be more interesting than 2 vague pages of "I realized I'm gay." And it hits in theory where you've been, since you'd have to include details or back story enough to explain why you went there. Unfortunately, though, many English teachers I had would have preferred 2 vague pages that cover a wide range with as much depth as an encyclopedia entry. But I can say that my college writing teacher (mentioned above) would have loved my idea. Incidentally, my college teacher had a specialty interest in autobiographical writing. In fact, that was the theme of the class, and I think he created that class. I can't remember his exact position--it's been too many years--but he felt that autobiography wasn't just a regurgitation of events like you see in many best selling autobiographies. His interest was seeing what people were like; how events shaped our lives. ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2013 at 09:24 PM ---------- Incidentally, Josh, I really like your signature line! There are days I feel F.I.N.E., too!
well i wrote it and i'm going to turn it in, but i'm not sure if any of my family members will ever see it, i feel like i'd rather turn in something that i wrote with some feeling that is missing the notes than something with the notes that i absolutely hated writing, but here it is. From the beginning of the year I have been dealing with somewhat simple issues that have seemed to blossom into monstrous hindrances. Let’s start with my now ex- girlfriend. We had been together for a while and I kind of felt like something was missing. I loved her but it didn’t seem like I loved her like a girlfriend but more like a close friend or sibling. To give a little context, I have known from a young age that I was on some level attracted to other guys. However as I grew older and was told about how to be with another man was a sin and would only end with you burning in hell, I learned how miraculous the power of repression was and told myself that I was not and could not be “one of those people”. When I was about fifteen I realized that I had these feelings and they weren’t going go away. However the religious bologna kicked in and I thought “well I know I’ cant be gay, I must be bi” so I ended up believing I was bi and I decided that I would just ignore the “Gay” feelings that I had. Sophomore year one of my friends ended up asking me out and I said yes, we quickly became a couple and everyone thought we were perfect together, including us. However, around the beginning of my junior year, to my horror, I began to realize that I didn’t love her that way nor did I really enjoy thoughts of being with her or any woman that way. Yet my thoughts about other guys made themselves more apparent. I ended up breaking up with her, telling her why, and she understood and while disappointed that we broke up, she was glad that I was honest with her, and we are still friends. Going back to my feelings for guys being more apparent, there was a certain guy in particular that I had developed a crush on. I really wanted to just spill my guts and hope he felt the same way but before I did that I wanted to come out to my parents so that I would hopefully be able to avoid having to hide a relationship. So encouraged by one of my other friends I came out to them. This resulted in a lot of awkward conversations and even getting sent to a preacher to “cure” me but that’s a different story. Now that I had come out to my parents I felt that I could finally talk to my friend about how I felt towards him. I started a conversation with him and then I finally came out to him. He asked me why I chose him to come out to, and I just told him that I trusted him, while not a lie it wasn’t the whole truth. He responded with a stout “well, I’m not gay if that’s what you’re getting at”. That was pretty much the end of that conversation. What bothered me most about it was that he started to avoid me during school and I have only really seen him twice since then and a glare was the only thing exchanged, no words. I have felt really burdened with this because I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable talking about this with, so it just gets bottled up and it’s hard for me to find a way to bleed off the pressure without just letting everything spew out. Occasionally I will find someone who I feel could understand what I’m going through but when I want to talk to them they are usually with someone else who I don’t want to overhear the conversation so I just move along and keep bottling it up.
Nice, nice. It takes courage to not only write and turn this in, but to do all that you've done. I'm sorry that you and your male friend became kinda distant though. I hope the assignment goes well and all and so does life
*Update* So i got my essay back, and part of the assignment was that the teacher would write a note about our project (the essay with a few other things) so here's the note she wrote me I can post the sonnet if anyone wants to see it.
Congratulations! Your essay is a lot better than I ever wrote in high school. And do go ahead and post the sonnet!
for the sonnet we were supposed to imitate William Shakespeare's "sonnet 18" btw before anyone says anything i didn't really pay attention to meter. Shall I compare thee to an old memory? Thou art more close and more important: Storms do shake the roots of our relationship And Life’s lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too soon the hand of heaven comes, And often the fragile balance tipped; And every color will fade, By chance or nature’s changing course unwound; But thy eternal life shall not fade Nor lose any of that love you had; Nor shall Life weep thou you have left it. When in eternal life closer thou growest: So long as heaven above or hell below, So long lives this and this gives life to thee
