So I live away from home while attending college. I communicate with my mom pretty often by phone. I've been really wanting to tell her lately, and I've been trying to a couple times lately, but every time I'm about to, I can't do it. I've been thinking that maybe I could say it through an email. I also want to explain it because it doesn't feel that straight forward and there are parts that aren't that certain, and I want to express that. And I feel like that will be a lot easier typing it out than saying it. Does that seem okay, or do you think that is that too impersonal to come out through email? Thank you for your time.
I'm with you with feeling the need to explain the uncertain aspects about your sexuality. I found it easy to do through text messages which, with my friends, felt like an appropriate way to tell them. Texting is a bit informal with my parents though, who don't text much. I don't see a problem with an email or a letter in your case if you can't do it in person. I think its a good idea. No two coming outs are the same, so whatever you think, I'd go with. Good luck.
I came out to my mother via a very long email. It was the best way for me to clearly explain how I was feeling and put everything out on the table. Plus, at that point I wasn't really ready to say the words out loud. It also allowed her to take in the information at her own pace and really think about it, which I think she appreciated, instead of me just blurting it out in person and forcing her to react on the spot. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
I think a well-thought out e-mail is appropriate under the circumstances. Just be clear of what you are certain about, and what you aren't certain about. Your misgivings and uncertainties could be used against you!
I like this idea. If you express yourself better in writing, an email is perfect. You can say exactly what you mean and be sure you won't leave anything out. She'll probably have follow-up questions, but you can address them over the phone later.
email is fine , I did fb email with my friends cause I felt if I just started up saying i'm gay they would interrupt me before I got to say everything I had to say and that way they could have time to digest what I had said rather than having to respond straight away. Just from experience send it off at time you know they check their emails for instance if your mum works and doesn't check her email till she gets home don't send it in the morning cause you will just spend hours going over what you said and worrying what she will say. Good luck
In my opinion, it is too impersonal. I'm in the same position and I was about to come out to my mom through phone because I havn't seen them in months. But you owe them to come out in person. They are your parents.
If it's what feels right for you then go for it. If you know when she checks her emails then you can be near a phone and know you can speak to her soon. If you know there's some stuff that you really need to explain then it's probably the most straight forward way.
I think what a lot of people forget is that the most important person to be thinking about when you are coming out is yourself. If you don't feel comfortable coming out in person, or over the phone, or through smoke signals or whatever other method you can think of, then don't come out that way. You certainly aren't obligated to come out a certain way to certain people. I know it's very difficult to breach the subject, so an email can be perfect. It's not like you are never going to talk to them in person about it after this - you're just starting things off and an email or a letter or some other method where you aren't actually there with them is often the best way.
