Literally, I made a new years resolution to come out to one of my closest friends this month and I extremely adore her and love her and anything possible which could be said in the English language which is positive to describe her! However, this month I've kind of been hesitant as to whether I should or not? She seems gay friendly at times but then at other times she takes the piss out of our drama teacher getting anal-ed and stuff as honestly he is a dickhead and I join in too with homophobic behaviour. But what I really want to know is should I keep to this resolution as I did make it in January and also promised myself she would the be the first person to know and I would tell her in April. :help:
I think if you're ready to do it you should. A lot of people take part in that kind of behaviour but aren't actually homophobic, even if they do cause offence. I mean in our social group we're all so comfortable with each other that I quite often hear people calling each other fags, when about half of the group is gay, and the gays join in. (To hopefully avoid offending anyone who doesn't like that sort of thing - we wouldn't say anything like that when with other people, but we know among us that we're ok with it.) So basically i'm saying that even if she does do that kind of thing I don't think it necessarily means she's going to respond badly to you coming out. I don't know her of course, so don't hold me to that, but that's what I think
This the friend with a bit of a mouth on her? If yes, then don't do it unless you're ready for any consequence of her blabbing. Don't do it because you've set yourself a resolution to do it in April - do it if you feel ready.
You are right and she is so sweet! I think she would be accepting but it's just I have a sense of denial from her and her branding me a 'batty man' as she calls it. I do think she would be thinking of better choice of words around me if I do come out and avoiding from saying anything rude about gay people. I just don't want her to change for me? Oh no! I would never contemplate about telling the friend with a mouth on her even though I love her a lot. This is a different one and she has always been there for me through thick and thin and you're right. I don't normally break promises/resolutions but I guess in this case I'll just have to come out when I'm ready even though it will be hard.
This might sound stupid as I don't know what your relationship with her is like, but is it possible that she's into you? That might explain why she could be in denial about it, I had a lot of problems with a girl liking me once... I know what you mean about not wanting her to change though, I suppose the way to deal with that is for you to not change - if you keep joining in with the joking then she might realise that you won't mind, and after a while it'd probably be back to normal? I made a deal with a friend i'd come out on national coming out day once, that was 2 or 3 years ago... :/
